Day 8 Planned for God’s Pleasure Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

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The Lord takes pleasure in His people.  Psalm 149:4 

The best marriage advice my husband and I received was ironically from a priest who advised us to “keep dating.”   During our over 27 years of marriage we have chosen different types of dates but the commitment to reconnect and share has always been a constant.  When our children were very young we had a neighborhood babysitter come over once a week and we would have dinner away from the chaos and distractions of our home. When we both worked outside the home,  we started to have lunch dates  together.  I remember  my in-laws asking  my husband what he wanted for his birthday and Dave requesting that the grandparents would care for the children for a long weekend so he could spend time with me. These weekly dates  and occasional longer trips were important, but daily compliments and words of affirmation, phone calls and soft touches each day were needed to ensure that our relationship continued to grow throughout each season and challenge of life.

In Chapter 8 entitled Planned for God’s Pleasure, Rick Warren describes that God created us to worship God and give Him pleasure.  But God wants us to have pleasure too.  He is such a loving God that He desires to have a real love relationship similar to the passion and commitment of a husband and wife with both me and you.  Let me type this one more time as this mystery is beyond human understanding….the God of the Universe wants to spend time with you, enjoys being with you and knows that you will receive the same enjoyment from this as well.  

The last line in Ch. 8 states:

This is what real worship is about- falling in love with Jesus.

So worship Him with others at church each week in music, the scriptures   and in receiving the body and the blood. (date night) See if you can sign up for a day or weekend retreat or mission at your church.

But also seek to find little ways to worship and enjoy the Lord during each week day. For example:  Stop when a beautiful sunrise catches your eyes as you’re running out the door to work; stand still in appreciation and thanksgiving with compliments  “Wow.  Isn’t that Beautiful Jesus! thank you for sharing this with me. You are such a creative God”

Isn’t it wonderful that we were created to be loved by God? Remember Day one and the phrase “you were created by God and for God”?

I encourage you to keep all your senses open to the many ways God is showing His love to you each day. An encouraging text or word from a friend, a verse that seems written just for you and your circumstance, a stunning nature scene etc.

Then return this love with the worship of Thanksgiving and adoration.

I begin each morning with writing the words ACTS in my journal vertically.

A stands for Adoration. God you are so_____(fill in the adjective)

C Stands for Contrition    I am so sorry for ___________

T stands for Thanksgiving     I write three things I am thankful for                1.____2.____3._____

S stands for supplication    I write 10 people I am praying/ advocating for_

Following this framework helps me be less distracted and more focused in my prayer time. Notice that adoration is first. Give God the Glory He so deserves and by doing so all of your  problems will grow small in the face of the beauty, power and goodness of God.

So as a wise man once told me:

Keep Dating. 

Oh Give My Husband a Brand New Wife

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My friend’s sobs echoed over the phone as she shared that her husband didn’t value the “new her,” but instead wanted to keep her back from growing into the vivacious woman I knew her to be. How sad that he couldn’t value growth and put in the effort and grow to love the “new Kelly.”  I sat down and wrote this poem after our phone conversation.

A Brand New Marriage

Oh give my husband a brand new wife
One that will serve him lovingly
Give him the helpmate he deserves
And may that “new wife” always be me

Oh give my husband a hot mistress
One that will surprise him lovingly
Give her energy and fresh ideas
And may that “mistress” always be me

Oh give my husband a new best friend
One that will listen lovingly
Give her wisdom to find the good
And may that “best friend” always be me   

So how does one protect one’s marriage as we grow individually and through the seasons of Life?

Here are some tidbits of advice that my husband and I have gleamed through the years.

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Happy 27th Wedding Anniversary to my husband!

Keep dating.
Our priest from Gettysburg College, Father Phil gave us the advice to “keep dating” when he met with us before our marriage. With each season of our marriage, life has changed, and so have our dates. A neighbor babysitter coming over for two hours a week so Dave and I could go out when our children were small, intimate lunches when we started our business, family members who watched the children so we could take a long weekend. Be creative, be proactive, and just do it.

“The best thing you can do for your children is to have a good marriage.”
This was the advice we received when we went to a day-long marriage encounter. This quote helped take away all my guilt about leaving my children to “date” their father or travel with him.  The children will grow up and share their own relationships and putting our spouse first is a way to model for them what a thriving marriage looks like.

A successful marriage is the union of two forgivers.
– Ruth Graham Bell.

Yes, your partner is not perfect. Yes, they are irritating at times. Yes, they keep hurting you.
This is what Love is about. Forgiving and seeing the overall good in your spouse. May they see the overall good in us. For we are imperfect people, who make mistakes and we can be so irritating to others. Love is a covering. Love does not “keep a record of wrongs,” so when you are angry or hurt or lonely, write down 10 good things about your husband and see if your perspective changes. Keep a record of Rights. What is right about your hubby.

This weekend seek out a way to date your spouse. What are some creative ways that you like to spend with your spouse? Please share them in the comments below.