May 2019 – Sweet Sisters

Finding Jesus in the Midst of Hurt

by Carrie McCarty-Gibson (guest Sweet Sister)

I sat in church that January my heart aching from five years of infertility which had just ended in a second miscarriage. A visiting, itinerant priest, a friend of our pastor’s from seminary, announced he was there to talk personally with anyone who needed to discuss her relationship with God.

Well that wasn’t me!

I went to church every Sunday, prayed with my husband, and even taught the 8th grade class right there at church, but I didn’t talk to anyone about my relationship with God. As Father Fred stood at the back of church shaking hands with people as they left, I was making a wide arc to avoid him when I felt compelled instead to go speak with him. Before I knew it, I found myself saying, “I think I ‘m supposed to talk to you about my relationship with God.”

I went to meet with him and poured out my heart and ended with,

“I don’t understand what I’ve done that has made God angry with me. I don’t understand why he is punishing me like this.”

Father Fred smiled a big warm smile and chuckled a bit. He went on to explain that ever since the first day he had been ordained a priest God had been sending him infertile couples and he had known when I saw him in the church why I was coming to see him. For decades, he had kept a list of infertile couples and he would pray that they could find their lost fertility. He told me in all the years of his list, he had never had one couple who couldn’t conceive. He asked me if I’d like to be placed on his list. I was so excited. This was all I needed. I could be right with God if I could just be on the list of this holy priest to whom God had given this special ministry. Father Fred prayed over me and I got up to leave. He motioned for me to remain sitting and said, “Now, let’s talk about your relationship with God.”

I was confused. Being on the list was what I needed. Exactly what I needed. But God wasn’t leaving me in the misconceptions of my immature faith so Father Fred couldn’t either.

Father asked if I could picture the most painful memory of all I had experienced. I said, “Yes. I see the doctor’s face, hear the monitor beeping, feel my husband’s hand. I see it all, Father.” He gently responded, “No. You don’t.”

“You don’t see where Jesus was in that moment and I promise you that he was there with you.”

He told me to ask Jesus where he was. “Lord where were you?” I cried in a half-sob. I closed my eyes and pictured the scene again and this time I could see Jesus standing by me and when the doctor spoke those cruel words, I could see him bend over me, shielding me.

Then I saw so many of the other scenes from this painful journey and I could see Jesus with me through it all. Father Fred asked, “What is Jesus doing?”

I answered, “He’s crying.”

“And why is he crying?” Father asked.

“Because I’m hurting and he’s hurting.”

“Why is he hurting?” prodded Father.

“Because he loves me,” I sobbed.

“That’s right! “Father joyously exclaimed. “Jesus loves you! He’s not punishing you because of something you did wrong. He’s hurting for you because he loves you.”

Father Fred went on to tell me that bad things happen in the world because sin exists and bad things that happen were not even necessarily the result of our own sin. Sin and the sad that resulted from it were never what God wanted, but that he could bring good from it if I would let him.

I felt so much better and thanked him and got up to leave. Father motioned for me to sit and said, “Now, I’ll hear your confession.” I wasn’t ready for that. I liked to prepare. Father said, “Relieve yourself of these sins you feel are so great that you believe God is angry with you and punishing you.”

In Isaiah 40:1-2, God says:

Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her that her hard service has been completed,that her sin has been paid for, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.

God forgave me and I needed to believe it. I have spent years learning that lesson – God has forgiven me of anything I had done. The negative feelings I now felt weren’t an issue with God; I needed to learn to forgive myself.

Father listened to my sins and told me God forgave me.

Then he paused and said, “I’m getting a very strong feeling from the Holy Spirit that you are going to be pregnant by Easter. Yes. Easter. Let’s pray you can carry this baby to term.” We prayed. I thanked Father and left.

I went happily through the season of Lent. The peace my faith had brought me during our infertility and miscarriage trials had inspired my husband to seek Jesus and he was preparing to be baptized at Easter, April 16. It was a joyous, hope-filled time. We made a peaceful spiritual retreat to lovely Savannah, Ga and grew in faith and love of God. Two weeks before Easter, we discovered Father had been wrong. I was not pregnant, but I talked to God about that and told him we had so much growth that it was okay that Father had been wrong and had misinterpreted the message God had sent.

My husband was baptized at Easter. It was a beautiful time and it made it ok that Father Fred had been wrong.

Except, he hadn’t been.

Two weeks after Easter, I discovered I was pregnant and looking back on all those records folks struggling with infertility keep, I was a day or two pregnant at Easter when my husband had been baptized.

I did go on to carry our little girl, not only to term but two weeks past. Savannah was born in January – exactly a year after I had met with Father Fred. Easter Sunday that year was on my birthday and Father Fred just happened to be passing through visiting our pastor for Easter. He gave me the best birthday gift I’ve ever received when he baptized Savannah on that Easter birthday of mine.

In so many ways then and since then God has shown me the truth of Jeremiah 29:11-13 –

11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope and a future.12 You will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

With my heart broken, I sought a relationship with God, and in finding that relationship, God healed that broken heart.

In the years that followed, I learned: God has good plans for us and they are so much bigger than our own plans. I learned to forgive myself if for no other reason because God forgave me and his is a perfect example to follow. Most of all, I learned to look for Jesus in my times of hurt because he is there.

A Christian Single Mom’s Guide to Raising a Child Who Will Grow up To become Fabulous Fruit

by Sue Karsner (Sweet Sister guest post)

Divorce can be devastating for a single mom, especially knowing that God hates divorce. How do you reconcile this? After being divorced for 20 years, I will cut to the chase and give you the bottom line for me.

God hates divorce, but He loves more!

If you read the story of the woman at the well from the Gospel of John 4:4-26, you will see that Jesus desires the woman’s worship over and above her guilt. This is what set her free to become the first evangelist!
This may be comforting to you, but what about your children who grow up without a dad or has a distant father?
I’m sure you’ve heard the odds of what happens to boys who are raised without a father. I surely did when my son was only a baby when my marriage ended. Fear and anxiety set in knowing that the distance of his father was going to mean that there would be little to no interaction – the interaction that would keep my son out of serious counseling or even jail.
Miraculously, by the grace of God, this didn’t happen. At least not yet, and my son is now 24.

In fact, raising my son was the most enjoyable time of my life, and fruitful indeed! This single mom didn’t experience the normal exasperation of raising a child alone.

In fact, I seemingly enjoyed the easiest teenage years compared to most intact families, resulting in a mature, responsible, deep-thinking, God-fearing young man who also gave me a beautiful, amazing, puts-me-to-shame daughter-in-law.

How did this “fabulous fruit” come to pass when the odds were against it? Here are some spiritual truths that provided the necessary nurturing of my little seed and practical tips that watered and fed this little guy to the wonderful young man that he has become. If you find yourself in this unfortunate, sometimes tragic situation, you may want to try these suggestions.

• First and foremost – Commit yourself, your Child , and your Parenting to the Lord. Realize your child is a miracle and a gift from God, but he/she belongs to Him.

You will never be alone! God says in Isaiah 41: 10

“Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

I can’t say enough about the peace that I received from the Lord and all His incredible guidance. He provided always with gifts of wisdom, financial means, and forgiveness of my former spouse.

• Delve into the Word. As your young child sleeps, plays, etc., take this time of your singleness to intensely study the Bible. There is much wisdom, and you will need this to parent your child. Personally, I spent the first 7 years of my son’s life in Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and 3 more years in Community Bible Study (CBS). You can find these classes in most major cities.

Your closeness with the Lord will guide you in your parenting in ways that you could never fathom.

Remember that God loves your child more than you ever can. It’s awesome to see God’s hand on you and your child!

• Pray for “daddy” with your child. (No matter how you feel about your child’s father). This will keep a distant father in your child’s life in an important way. Address God as “Our Perfect Father in Heaven” when you pray, and this will distinguish God as your husband and Father who will love, care, and provide SECURITY for your family and who will never fail you. Keep your emotional and material issues with your child’s father undisclosed. Wait until your child is asleep to call a friend or counselor to discuss any pain you are feeling toward your child’s father and the loss of your marriage.

Christian Counselors are very helpful. They can provide a perspective that you may not see. I was feeling anxious, fearful, and helpless during the early years, and my counselor was able to provide practical ways to get through the day and provide hope for the future.

• Daily Devotions with your child will be like having God in your house! Your child will feel more secure knowing that his perfect Father is listening and guiding each and every day.

• Pray for Godly men in your child’s life. Coaches, teachers, pastors, and neighbors, will provide examples that your child can model.

Practical tips:

• You need your sleep. If you are alone with a young baby or child, you will need to teach your baby to sleep. Make sure your child learns that their crib is not for playtime and they will learn to take sleep seriously. Put them down, say goodnight, and walk away. Use a pacifier, if necessary. Expect them to sleep and they will learn to do so…as long as they are not distressed or sick. If they fall asleep outside the crib, make sure they wake up in the crib. Stick to scheduled naptimes. When your child is older, set a time limit for when your child is allowed to get out of bed. For me, it was 7:30 a.m. My son was told that he needed to wait until then.

• Refrain from using the word “no.” Instead say “you may not do that” or “sorry, but that’s not allowed.” Children, unfortunately, will mimic the words you use, and “no” isn’t a very pleasant one to hear from your child. Your tone and words should always be respectful.

• Provide security. Surround yourself with Godly friends and family. Grandparents are great for this. We also had wonderful neighbors who were always there for us. My son knew where to go if he needed someone’s help in an emergency.

• Messaging should be consistent. Your child needs consistency in their world-view. I was fortunate to be able to provide Christian education for my son, and we also attended the same church throughout his upbringing. School, church, and home messaging was consistent and constant. We loved our church, and it was never a thought to miss a Sunday.

• Always be honest. When you hear your little Kindergartener, in his car seat behind you, begin a conversation with “Tell me the truth, Mom” and proceeds to ask about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the tooth fairy all at the same time, give it to him straight. (Yikes ) Also, refrain from sarcasm, bribery, and threats. Trust and respect are crucial.

• Expect obedience. If your child thinks it’s okay to disobey you until a second or third repeated request, you are teaching them to not obey you. This is where the “higher-calling” comes into play. Those daily child devotions are full of life lessons that encourage the importance of obedience.

• Raise your child to be a decision-maker. If my son wished to wear shorts outside in the dead of winter, that’s what he did. I knew that if he was cold enough, he could come inside or change his clothes. He decided when to do his homework while he was in Grammar school. I remember when I was picking him up after school and feeling delighted to see him lying face down on the trampoline at his friend’s house with his books spread out, while his friend was bouncing around. This attitude continued till high school when his homework habits were solidly getting him through those difficult years. Making his own decisions provided the confidence he needed for work (he was an umpire at age 12) and later on in his college years.

In conclusion, notice that the flip side to the Isaiah verse (above) is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Let this encourage you. I rejoice happily, for God has blessed me with this fruitful life. He will give you a fruitful life as well, if you commit to give Him the glory.

Happy Mother’s Day! To God be the glory!

Trusting God to Make the U-Turn on your Journey in Life

by Lynn Moratis (guest sweet sister)

Have you ever had to make a U-turn because you missed your destination? Maybe you didn’t realize you missed your destination, so you went miles out of your way before you had to turn around. Or maybe you were going down a one way road? As you drove in the wrong direction, you kept stopping for fuel, bathroom breaks and fast food. You knew all the right things you had to do to keep things going, but you still hadn’t recognized that you needed to adjust your journey? Isn’t that the way life goes sometimes, but not just when we are driving on the highway, but in our day to day too? I found myself there many times, and I have only found one true adjustment that works- will you join me in a short journey today and make a U-turn with me?
One April Monday, the Sweet Sisters met for our study on “Trusting God”. We have been sharing specific trust stories in our lives and Monday was my turn to share. As you read this, I hope you are inspired to find Jesus and meet Him where you are.
My trust story started when I was twelve years old and accepted Jesus into my heart. I wish I could say the rest was easy, but it has been a long and windy road. Two years ago something happened that motivated me more than any other time in my life. I had my routine mammogram and within two days had the call that we all dread. I needed to come back.

I did two things, I prayed, and then I called my husband. Then FEAR set in. All the what if’s and preparation for the worse. Being a nurse and knowing what I could potentially face increased my fear. Fast forward two weeks and I’ve had an ultrasound, a needle biopsy and been told all clear. These were two very scary weeks. I clung to prayer, I clung to scripture and my faith. I was unable to focus on much else. Then I experienced the sweet relief of answered prayers.
In I Thessalonians 5:16 -18 we are encouraged to “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus” (NIV). I was focused on trying to live this verse. I was so happy and thankful when I received the news, I even doubted if it could be totally true.
We’ve all heard the saying “timing is everything”, and in this case it really was. This event had coincided with the Sweet Sisters study of the “Purpose Driven Life”. I became deep in thought, as so much was colliding at the same time, causing me to stop and reflect.
Throughout the rest of the fall study, I realized how much Jesus had protected me and supported me throughout my entire life and through many difficult times. How much he had blessed me and I was overwhelmed with gratitude for his love and mercy and kindness. I wanted to do more – He deserved more than I had given up to this point. I wanted to be his light to those with whom I encounter in my day to day, family, friends, work, and socially. I wanted to be more faithful than I had been before. I had always been a prayer warrior, but I wanted to be more consistent with church, worship, reading my bible and setting an example for my friends and family. I wanted to emulate Love for others and to others.
So…fast forward 2 1/2 years and 5 studies later with the Sweet Sisters and I have grown after each study. I’ve also make small and big changes in my life – trying to be a better listener, trying to make it never about me, trying to incorporate the salvation that only Christ can provide when opportunities arise. Realizing there is nothing perfect about me – I do get up every day with a desire to please him and share his love.

Having been a Christ follower since twelve, I often wonder why I didn’t try harder before – and I came to the conclusion that it was because I thought it would be too hard, I’d have to change too much, people might think I’m over the top – one of those religious freaks. My husband had even said to me during this time your becoming “odd for God”. But, what I’ve come to realize is that when we surrender His will to our will he changes us bit by bit. Once we start the walk of obedience, and we truly pray for his spirit to come alive in us every day – it happens, day by day. It’s just one word – “surrender” that’s the easy part, you follow and He guides.
In Jeremiah 29:13, we are told “You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart” (NIV). This verse is so true, as we seek Him more we find more of Him. The holy scripture is the best place to find Him. It’s the best place to go when you need to make a U-turn.
Do I sometimes have doubts? Plagued with second guessing or thinking I’m not good enough or worthy? Of course, but then I remember Isaiah 43:18-19:
“Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! now it springs up; do you not perceive it”?

He wants us to always be moving forward, learning from our past and asking him to guide our future. When we do this He does spring up in our heart and he flows out through all we do. What a relief to know He has all we need, we just have to trust Him more. Sometimes we trust even when we are not sure we can, and He comes through.
Wherever you are today, he’s faithful and true and can provide all that you need to help you journey in the right direction. He loves you.
John 15:13 (KJV) “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”
Grab his hand and watch him change your direction.