Oh Give My Husband a Brand New Wife

My friend’s sobs echoed over the phone as she shared that her husband didn’t value the “new her,” but instead wanted to keep her back from growing into the vivacious woman I knew her to be. How sad that he couldn’t value growth and put in the effort and grow to love the “new Kelly.”  I sat down and wrote this poem after our phone conversation.

A Brand New Marriage

Oh give my husband a brand new wife
One that will serve him lovingly
Give him the helpmate he deserves
And may that “new wife” always be me

Oh give my husband a hot mistress
One that will surprise him lovingly
Give her energy and fresh ideas
And may that “mistress” always be me

Oh give my husband a new best friend
One that will listen lovingly
Give her wisdom to find the good
And may that “best friend” always be me   

So how does one protect one’s marriage as we grow individually and through the seasons of Life?

Here are some tidbits of advice that my husband and I have gleamed through the years.

Happy 27th Wedding Anniversary to my husband!

Keep dating.
Our priest from Gettysburg College, Father Phil gave us the advice to “keep dating” when he met with us before our marriage. With each season of our marriage, life has changed, and so have our dates. A neighbor babysitter coming over for two hours a week so Dave and I could go out when our children were small, intimate lunches when we started our business, family members who watched the children so we could take a long weekend. Be creative, be proactive, and just do it.

“The best thing you can do for your children is to have a good marriage.”
This was the advice we received when we went to a day-long marriage encounter. This quote helped take away all my guilt about leaving my children to “date” their father or travel with him.  The children will grow up and share their own relationships and putting our spouse first is a way to model for them what a thriving marriage looks like.

A successful marriage is the union of two forgivers.
– Ruth Graham Bell.

Yes, your partner is not perfect. Yes, they are irritating at times. Yes, they keep hurting you.
This is what Love is about. Forgiving and seeing the overall good in your spouse. May they see the overall good in us. For we are imperfect people, who make mistakes and we can be so irritating to others. Love is a covering. Love does not “keep a record of wrongs,” so when you are angry or hurt or lonely, write down 10 good things about your husband and see if your perspective changes. Keep a record of Rights. What is right about your hubby.

This weekend seek out a way to date your spouse. What are some creative ways that you like to spend with your spouse? Please share them in the comments below.

4 thoughts on “Oh Give My Husband a Brand New Wife”

  1. Beautiful! I am anxious about encountering the new seasons in my marriage. It’s hard to forgive, hard to keep looking past the imperfections of our spouse and of ourself. Love is powerful and unbreakable with God’s help. Congratulations on 27 years. How encouraging! Finding a babysitter is our struggle, but there’s always time to make a date at home after the kids go to bed-movie, games, late night snack. I hope you have a beautiful day!

    1. Whitney…what a joy to have you take the time to respond:)It encourages me so…..bless you! Yes…when one can’t find a babysitter….creatively finding moments to connect can be the glue to keep our hearts mended. May God bless your marriage my sweet sister.

  2. Love the poem, Amber! You are so “spot-on” about continuing to “date” our husbands. It took some real problems for the idea that we needed to have time together to sink in back when we had really young children.
    Right now, we enjoy a 15 minute “constitution” as it used to be called. It’s just a short walk up and down our street when we hold hands and just connect while the girls clear the table and rinse the dishes (and goof around alittle too.) I look forward to having him all to myself to share our day and plan the next. It’s good for the girls to see it, too.
    Thank you for this article. 🙂

    1. Chrisie…thank you so much for sharing about Your 15 minute Constitution…you have younger children than I ( and more of them:) and so this is such a practical and realistic way to connect. You and Hans reflect Gods love for his church so beautifully. Keep it up!

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