“Love Keeps no record of wrongs.” -1 Corinthians 13 : 5 (NIV)
By Amber O’Brien
It started to happen again. During a certain time of the month, my perspective left, and an evil twin seemed to replace my otherwise wonderful husband. My self-pity and anger grew as his words and actions rubbed me the wrong way.
But this time I made the choice to find a quiet spot and to write in my journal !0 good things about my husband. At first, I struggled to start the list but as I continued, more and more ideas and examples came to mind. By the time I reached number #!0, I was shocked by how much my attitude had changed.
I found perspective and the evil twin fled.
“Wow, He really is a wonderful husband!”
Soon, I used this technique on a friend who called to complain about their husband. Instead of feeding into her negative thinking and responding with “Oh you poor thing!”, I responded with” Tell me something good about Richard.” She paused in shock as she seemed stuck in a negative mode enjoying the complaining and wanted sympathy from me. But instead of me just agreeing with her, what my struggling friend really needed was perspective.
“I’ll start” I assured her.
1. he is a wonderful coach for your daughter. 2. he has a great sense of humor.
3. he works long hours for the family
Soon my friend was adding her own ideas to the list and I bet Richard was greeted by a much happier wife that night.
Love keeps no record of wrongs. ( 1 Corinth. 13: 5 NIV)
Imagine if we found a journal with all the negative things we had done or said by our spouse or dear friend. We would be crushed, wouldn’t we? All of us want those we love to see the good in us.
So, let’s put in the work to find the good in those we love.
Let’s turn around our negative thinking by literally writing down the positive. Not just thinking of a few positives but writing the list down. Writing gratitude’s about a person rewires our brains and helps us to reset into happiness.
I have found this method works well if one is struggling with messy preschoolers, moody teenagers, outspoken mother in laws, frustrating coworkers, and friends who disappoint.
Recently, I struggled with a friend who withdrew her friendship and hurt me tremendously. I nursed my hurt for a long while before I remembered to sit down and write 10 good things about her. I felt at peace by number 10 and my heart warmed and forgiveness flowed. Once I was reminded of how she cared for others, I was able to ask God to bless her. As I shifted my focus from my hurt to her beautiful qualities, my heart felt lighter.
Is there a person in your life that you have been keeping a record of wrongs?
Fight back with a pen and paper and reclaim perspective and peace.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you that you don’t keep a record of all my wrongs. Oh, thank you! You promise that if I confess my sins, they are removed and forgotten. Please help me to be like you and see the good in those who are around me. Pour your holy spirit down as I pick up my pen and let your truth and perspective reign. May my family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers know that I see the good in them. Help me to grow in love, healing, and reconciliation. In the beautiful and healing name of Jesus, Amen