Help Out of a Pickle

by Amber O’Brien

I just love all the pithy pickle phrases that is part of being on the pickleball courts. My first goal for my partner and I, if we start falling behind and feeling anxious, is to be “unpickled“.

To be pickled means: to be skunked and end of with 0 points…so I get excited when we get that first point and I yell out, “We can’t be pickled now!”

But how do we get “unpickled” in life? How do we keep from the vinegar of life that can slowly turn us into sour pickles?

What is the opposite of vinegar ? I say sugar…like the sugar sprinkled out from our Dear Heavenly Father’s hands this past weekend. Let me explain.

A small gathering of some sweet sisters occurred and we listened to the Sept. 8th first5.org audio taping on the topic of the tension of being in exile in the bible (like Adam and Eve banished from the garden, the Israelites wandering in the desert, Joseph being sold into slavery…etc..) and then we discussed how this all related to the times in our lives when we felt unrooted …or our children were unrooted and our “mommy hearts” were torn in the process.

One sister shared how she was unrooted a lot as a child because her dad was in the military, another sister feels torn between home and a job that are in different locations, one friend has a child who was exiling themselves by bad choices….another whose long season as a mother had ended with an empty nest. Now what?

We all could relate to being exiled like so many biblical men and women who often were confused, hurt, anxious etc…. when God allowed painful times of Exile.

One sister recently made the tough decision to shake their adult child out of the warm nest of her home…. knowing that this was best long-term for the child.

Our “pickle” was slowly becoming…….unpickled!

So this must be why Our Heavenly Father shakes us up too!

We discussed how Long -term God knows what is best for each of us and that when we become too comfortable, this can create weak spiritual muscles.

Our good good father loves you So much my sister….so if He has shaken you up and out of your comfortable nest, it is so that your wings will start to flap and grow stronger and as a result you will grow closer to God as you soar higher with Joy in your heart.

What can you do to strengthen your spiritual muscles while you wait?

But those who (wait, hope, trust) in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings on eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:13

When hosting a tea party or how not to husband bash By Amber O’Brien

Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Proverbs 18:21

Dear Sweet Sister:

I recently attended a tea party fit for a princess. Real china and crystal candelabras set the lavish table and soon scones, quiche and chocolate covered strawberries followed. My sweet sister shared her gift of hospitality with five friends by preparing ahead of time and considering every detail. She greeted us with warm enthusiastic hugs and as the tea “steeped” she asked questions of each guest so a new neighbor would feel welcome. Sweets were arranged on a separate table on a three tiered display next to her signature “peace sign”.

But ………..then the carefully prepared picture perfect scene turned sour.

For the conversation turned toward sharing negative things about our husbands. Lighthearted jokes soon snowballed into complaints and ungratefulness. Regrettably, I laughed along and joined the banter.

But then…..

the gracious and wise hostess offered a suggestion that turned the tide of the rest of our elegant tea party.

“Why don’t we go around the table and state someone good about our husbands? I’ll start..

And then she shared a sweet routine they share when he returns from a business trip. (Her husband puts on a dinner jacket and they dance in the kitchen to celebrate)

Soon the energy flowed as each women shared a positive item. One sister and her spouse text each other the words of songs during the day. “That’s so sweet!…I love that idea”. And soon, because some of us knew each other well, we added additional positive things we knew about our friend’s husband and reminded each other of something we admire about their marriage.

The tide turned from a drip dripping of negative comments that wear away at relationships to a refreshing rain of positive compliments that resulted in new ideas and renewed appreciation.

In the book of proverbs the impact of a wife’s nagging and negative words is compared to an irritating leak…drip, drip, drip.

A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip -drip on a rainy day. Proverbs 27:15

In our Liz Curtis Higgs book study entitled, Bad Girls of the Bible, we learned in the story of Samson and Delilah the impact that words can make. She literally nagged him to “death” as he eventually gave his secret of his strength away and this resulted in not only his demise but the death of thousands of Philistines in the final scene. Before his physical death, her nagging and ultimate betrayed ended in the emotional death of their relationship.

Words can tear down and words can build up. When we bring up negative dirt on our husbands in public, we are rolling ourselves in the mud too as a husband and wife become one flesh when married. Have you heard the phrase about not airing your dirty laundry? What a appropriate comparison for who wants to look or smell dirty laundry?

I know the excuses for I’ve used them myself. “I’m just venting” or “My friends are my therapist”. But a therapist would not personally know your husband and pass on this information. Your friends probably will. In the least, their opinion of your spouse is being infected and healing takes longer the more you pick at a scab. Our role is to protect and nurture our relationships. Unfortunately, we often play the “victim” card and try to get others to feel sorry for ourselves or take our side concerning a differing of opinion.

What should you do the next time you are tempted to focus and discuss a negative quality or action of your spouse? When a friend calls you up and starts to air her own dirty laundry?

Take out some bleach and start scrubbing.

Overpower the negative with the strong bleach of kind words.

Take out a pen and start writing positive things about your own spouse. Then the next time the situation arises say them out loud. When a friend shares some of her own dirty laundry perhaps say to your friend…”I know Joe isn’t perfect but what is something good about him? I’ve always admired this about him or your relationship.” A true friend will support your marriage and help you out of the pit of self-pity.

Do some of these complaints need to be addressed? Maybe. But out of respect for your spouse, pray about it first, asking God for wisdom as to whether this is something to be overlooked or needs to be addressed. Then, if you decide to go to him about your concens, you can clean the laundry together. If you are one flesh, then it is both your responsibility to do the bleaching together rather than individually throwing out the dirty laundry into your front yard. Wouldn’t you rather your spouse come to you then to tell his buddies about your negative qualities or mistakes?

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

Challenge: Sit down write now and write 10 positive things about your husband. Better yet, put it on his pillow tonight. Let him know that you see the good in him. Let the healing rain begin and soon you will benefit from the good fruit that will result.

If Love is Not a feeling…..then what is it? by Amber O’Brien

Love is Long-suffering….Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

I Corinthians 13

Dear Sweet Sister:

Do you know what true love looks like? A fellow sweet sister and her husband who deals with chronic back pain sat down for a meal this past weekend with my husband and I.

But Her husband couldn’t even sit long enough to finish his lunch as standing is just a little. less. painful. than sitting. He stood at the outdoor restaurant, not to see the view but to find some relief from his chronic back pain. The same pain that has progressed over two decades as they continually seek medical care and God’s intervention. This was their first outing in months together as the pain has recently intensified. His face (too young for a cane) grimaced in pain as he slowly walked using a cane to steady himself. My heart hurt just watching him suffer and I could only imagine the long-suffering heart of his wife who cares for him each and every day.

She patiently “waits” on God as she also lovingly “waits” on her husband. For months she would bring food upstairs to the bed as it was too painful to help him move downstairs. She has chosen commitment over fleeing, so most days she is housebound too. However, her example of faithfulness reaches to her children and to me and to so many others like the ripple effect of a stone tossed in a pond.

She spoke these words across the table as gently as her life demonstrates them.

Love is not a feeling……..Love is a commitment.

She faithfully holds on to her marriage vows of “Better or for Worse” with one hand while her other hand clutches onto God’s promises to be faithful to her and her family.

Her greatest concern is her children’s “Character” and oh what a real life lesson they see day in and out as both their parents remain steadfast in hope and trust in God despite failed procedures and chronic pain.

She has an eternal perspective and talks about this earth being just a “blip” compared to eternity.

She is committed to God and to her husband. She desires for her children to someday have spouses and most of all “to be” spouses who know what true love means.

She. Is. More. Beautiful to me than any runway model.

She models true unselfish, everlasting, committed Love.

What should you do sweet sister when the feelings fade? When life disappoints? When you want to flee? To give up?

Look to God’s love in flesh on the cross. Did Jesus feel like carrying his cross? Did He feel like staying on the cross? Remember Him in the garden begging that this bitter cup would be taken away? He was all human and all God. Jesus could have come down at anytime.

But He stayed. He stayed because He loves you and wants to spend eternity with you.

Love Stayed.

Love provided a way.

Love. Always. Wins. Because…………

Love is not a feeling…..Love is a commitment.

The Day the Drycleaners Held my Clothes Hostage and My claws Came Out

It all started innocently enough. My husband was out of town, so I took over the dry cleaning for him as this normally was something he took care of. We had been using this dry cleaner for over 20 years which is owned and operated by an Asian couple who still struggled with English but have faithfully worked to run their own business year after year.

The female store owner recognized me but she didn’t seem interested in small talk. “Phone number? ” She demanded in broken English.

I gave her my husband’s cell. She seemed irritated when it didn’t work. Next, I next gave her my cell. It didn’t work either. I then gave her our old home number that we don’t use anymore.

I just wanted to drop off the clothes. I gave her my husband’s cell again.

Then she started to ask me something that I couldn’t make out. She seemed offended that I didn’t understand her and as her frustrated rose she walked away from the counter. When she came back, I asked if I could pick it all up by Saturday (3 days later) as we both were going out of town on Monday. (I didn’t realize how early at the time) This is the first time I’ve ever asked for a specific day, but I needed the dresses for the convention.

“can’t do that “, she said stubbornly.

“Ok” I said bowing down…” How about early Monday?”

She said 8am. Problem averted I thought. I’ll just pick up the clothes early Monday even though they are closed on Sunday and the clothes would most likely be done on Saturday. It’s fine, I thought. She must have been having a bad day.

Chatting with my husband later that day, he informed me that we were leaving early (like 7am early on Monday).

“No!” I thought. I need to go back and face this bitter, unhappy women? I need to ask her for a favor? I started to make a game plan as I drove over. I would ask her nicely after I give her the old phone number that she still has in her computer. I would apologize and take blame for not knowing what number was in her system. And if she wasn’t able to help me? I would ask for the clothes back and have them cleaned at our hotel.

“Hello”, I smiled as I walked in.

“clothes are not ready” she barked out without a smile.

“I know” I said still smiling “I found out from my husband the number you have in your computer . I’m so sorry as it is a 20 year old number.” She put it in as I waited to ask her for my request.

“So I just realized that we are leaving at 7 am on Monday morning. I was wondering if I could please pick up the clothes on Saturday?”

“No..can’t do that”

“Then can I have my clothes back?” I countered.

“No…they all mixed up back there…I no can find them”.

I tried to remain calm but part of me was thinking of calling for backup. Like 911 backup. I could feel the tension rise as my face felt flush and the claws in my hands started coming out.

“Can’t you use the numbers on the receipt to find them? I inquired. “Those are my property”.

We were at a standstill. My clothes were now held hostage and like two cowboys in a western film we both had our hands on our weapons. And so I tried a different tactic.

“20 years”. I said with pleading eyes and a questioning voice.

She just looked at me …we both had our paws out, claws ready.

So I then tried my last resort plan. I made a threat. “If you don’t help me, my husband won’t come here anymore.”

She agreed that I could pick them up at 5 pm.

“Not one minute earlier” she said.

And then she gave an explanation of her frustration in rapid execution, but I could only make out the phrase, “it is smelly back there.” ..then she turned around and with her back to me she put up her right hand in a “never mind you wouldn’t understand” wave.

“You both work very hard,” I said…she didn’t turn around.

Driving away my heart grew increasingly sad and heavy. I would receive the clothes earlier and I didn’t need to call the police; but I started to put myself in her shoes and the Holy Spirit began to convict me.

Continue reading “The Day the Drycleaners Held my Clothes Hostage and My claws Came Out”

How your tears can be transformed into sweet wine #5 Mary at the Wedding of Cana

Oh my dear Sweet Sister…..have you been waiting and hoping for something to change in your life? Are you searching for transformation? Perhaps you have been praying for a relationship to be healed, a broken heart to be mended or maybe a sickly body to be restored to a healthy one? Do you feel as if you are walking in a desert place and need hope and refreshment? Jesus changes water into wine and He can make something beautiful out of whatever you are facing.

He not only changed the water into wine but He created the sweetest and best wine for the later part of the reception. Come join your sweet sisters in this study and find out how “He saves the Best for last.”

Our focus in this series “Man…..Does Jesus Love His Women” is the close relationship Jesus had with many women in the New Testament. The story of the Wedding of Cana reveals Jesus first miracle and gives us insight into his relationship with his mother Mary.

Let’s start by reading slowly John 2: 1-12.

Imagine yourself in this scene as Mary. During Biblical times a wedding festival included the entire town and lasted many days and to run out of wine would be an embarrassment to the wedding party as well as a huge disappointment to all who attended. Most people in biblical times labored long hours and had few opportunities for feasting and celebrating.

If you were Mary and had a son who you knew could “change the situation” ……what would you do?

She came to him and face to face she told him the situation. He questioned her with,“Woman, why turn to me? My hour has not come.”

But she did not give up. She took action and assumed that He would help. He respected his Mother Mary and let God use her to continue to unfold God’s perfect plan. He listened to her concern. He responded to her. Isn’t this the give and take of what a true love relationship entails?

“Do whatever He tells you.” What kind of statement is this?

This is a statement of faith. A command from our “mother” to follow what God asks us to do. Let us consider what the servants needed to do to follow what Jesus asked them to do.

How did the jars start off They were Empty.
Then the servants were asked to ? fill them with water ……..the servants had to make numerous trips to the well to fill up the 20-30 gallon stone jars. A total of 100 gallons of water. Wow!

We must become like the stone jars sweet sister. We must empty ourselves out first before we can be filled with the holy spirit. We prepare ourselves for the gift of God bubbling up within us with the confessing of our sins and the emptying of ourselves as we surrender our lives to God. What could the water represent in this story?

Could our tears be as the water that was needed to fill the jars before the miracle occurs?

During desert times of loss and heartache, we cry tears that are precious to the Lord. If fact, in Psalm 56:8 the bible states that God collects our tears in a bottle.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

“Could these huge stone jars be as the bottle reminding us that Jesus not only weeps with us but is collecting our tears to someday change them into the sweetest and finest wine?

We serve a God that keeps changing things.

He started off in Genesis changing dust into a man.

Then he made a woman out of a man’s rib.

Now at a Wedding in Cana, He changes ordinary water into extraordinary sweet, sweet wine.

To my sweet sisters, remember that you can draw near to Jesus as Mary did and tell him your situation. Repent and turn from any sin. Let him collect your tears in His jar and trust that he promises to change your tears to sweet joy. If we draw near to him…the best is yet to be.

(To my Catholic sweet sisters, remember that Mary is now up in Heaven around the throne of God with all the angels and saints. She has influence still and you can ask for her to pray with you to our Lord Jesus Christ.)

Now please turn to John Ch. 15 to read about how Jesus relates his followers to the grape branches and that He is like a vine.

3. How can we be sure to produce good grapes and wine?

Yes! We need to remain close to Jesus.

Reflect on the close relationship Mary had with her son Jesus at this wedding receptions. She spoke her request and then she listened. She encouraged others to follow him as well and to do “Everything He tells you”.

4. What if I feel as if I am in a drought and I don’t see any change happening in my situation or the situation of one of my family members?

Oh. Sweet Sister I understand. I’ve experienced times of drought while grieving. Maybe you don’t see anything good with loss right now and think this time is just a waste of time and energy. I also have had times of worry and angst over the choices or the situation of a family member. I have seen many family members and friends struggle in times of drought and the fear can be overwhelming for those feeling helpless as we watch.

If you or a loved one is in a season of drought imagine the roots of your faith and the faith of your loved ones growing deep and wide under the surface. You can’t see the roots of the grape plant but it is during times of drought and heat that the best grapes are produced. The smaller grapes contain a more condensed juice that in turn produces a sweeter wine. The Dessert wine (the sweetest wine of all) has been left on the vine an extra month. So if you feel exhausted from waiting, remember the best grapes have to wait the longest and that God has not forgotten you or your situation.

Our desert times can produce the sweetest dessert wine if we choose to remain on the vine.

Truly truly friend….God is able to use a drought to produce sweet wine.

If we listen and follow what He says to do.

If we remain close to Him.

If we have faith as Mary did and assume He wants to help.

What Action can you do to show your faith ?

a. Perhaps writing down three things that you are thankful for.

b. Writing 10 good things about the person who is challenging you.

c. Asking a friend to pray with you. Or for you.

d. Turn on praise music and sing along or just read the words and soak it in.

e. Reach out to someone who is suffering their own desert time….a person whose loss or struggle is more recent. Trust often means releasing the situation into God’s strong and loving hands and then focusing on helping those God has put in your path.

God is all about transformation and doesn’t waste anything. He even collects our tears and in His own time changes them to the sweetest of wines. So trust that God will use this desert time to cause your roots of faith to go deep and your future compassion for others will be as sweet as the dessert wine served after a special dinner.

2 corinthians 3-4

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

Man…Does Jesus Love His Women. #4 The Samaritan Women

Man…Does Jesus love His Women #4 The Samaritan Woman

Thirsty for true Love? Lonely and rejected by family and friends ? Perhaps concerned that your past or present may prohibit you from God’s complete love? God sees you my sister. He is going out of His Way to show you that He is the Way. How do I know?…from spending time with our next sweet sister in our series “Man….Does Jesus Love His Women” which focuses on Jesus’s relationship with women in the Bible. Let us study together our fourth women who is referred in scripture as The Samaritan Woman.

First read slowly John Ch. 4: 4-42.

What do you think the statement, “He had to pass through Samaria” means?

Actually, he didn’t “have to” pass through Samaria as most Jews bypassed this area. The Samaritans were looked down upon by the Jews and any item they touched would be considered “unclean”. I believe that this was a divine appointment and that Jesus “had to pass through Samaria” because this was God’s will. God (Jesus) knew the Samaritan women would be at the well at noon and made sure he was there as well.

2. Why did she come at Noon? When do the other women come?

Women traditionally came early in the morning to fetch water. Perhaps she went at noon to avoid the other woman in her village? Did they look down on her for her living situation? Jesus knew she would be alone.

3. She is shocked that he would ask for her to touch something he would touch …why?

A Samaritan woman would be considered ritually unclean by the Jews. He had her at “Give me a drink”. Her thoughts probably were, “Who is this Jewish man that is talking to me …trying to get to know me?” He came not to ask for water but to give her what He knew she was thirsty for…….

4. Does she understand what he means by “living water?”

No. She takes him literally and thinks he is talking about a magic well.

5. She is happily surprised that Jesus knows about her five husbands and that the man she is living with is not her husband. How do you think the way Jesus is responding is different than the women in the village? She doesn’t feel condemned as her reaction is excitement and surprise that Jesus “Knows her”. I suspect she feels cared for that Jesus understands the circumstances, knows her heart and takes the time to chat with her.

She questions Jesus on which Mountain is best to worship God…..Does the physical location matter? What kind of worshipers does He seek? Spirit and Truth (John 14:16-17 John 3:5-7)

The Samaritans had their own Temple on Mt. Gerizim to contrast with Mt. Zion in Jerusalem. But Jesus is saying the location of worship doesn’t matter. Worshiping the true God is what is most important. He is seeking our true worshipers and seeks out the Samaritan woman as He is seeking to have relationship with you my sweet sister. Worship begins in our hearts. She no longer lives in confusion as to which mountain to worship on or if she should continue in her sin of living with this man.

She is face to face with the holy God of the universe and now knows what she needs to do.

Now read Isaiah 43:3 as this is an example of how water is used in scripture as an analogy for forgiveness and new life.

Remember not the events of the past, The things of long ago. See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the desert I make a way, In the wasteland, rivers.

She leaves her jar and runs into town to tell them about her encounter with Jesus.

What is the significance of her leaving her jar?

She has found what she was really thirsty for. The Unconditional Love of the Savior of the World.

She has received the gift of the “Living Water” (Isaiah 44:3-5)

She has met Jesus who later in the same gospel answers, “ I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

She is often referred to as the First Missionary? Why?

She runs to tell everyone about her encounter. Even those women who rejected her? Yes! She wants to share her joy with all who will listen.

Does a missionary have to travel far? No…it often is the people around us in our ordinary day of fetching water that we can share the good news.

So my sweet sister. The Holy Savior of the World knows your heart. He sees you and knows your struggles. Come to the well and He will quench your thirst.

I end with a quote from the beautiful book, The Better Part by John Martunek

Christ is the Savior of the World, the Messiah, the long-awaited King greater even than Jacob, inheritor of the Promise and father of the twelve tribes of Israel, so he tells this divorcee. He graces the Samaritan woman with one of the richest descriptions of himself and his work that appear in all the Scriptures. Why? Why tell someone so insignificant? Because to him, she wasn’t insignificant at all. He wanted to be known by her, to give her hope, to save her. Ours is a Lord who wishes to shower us with His love, to fill us with the “living waters” of “the spirit and truth,” and to “tell us everything”. This is the God in whom we believe; this is the God we serve.

#3 The Woman that needed healing Man…Does Jesus love His women

Are you tired my sweet sister? Weak? Feeling alone and that no one understands what you are facing? Physically drained from the burden of Pain? Or maybe drained from grieving a loss? Are you so weary that it takes extra energy to do normal everyday activities? I have been there my sweet sister and so has our sister we study today.

Our tired sister reached out in faith and she was healed. She traveled 30 miles to touch Jesus despite a twelve year long illness. She traveled alone as she was considered “unclean” because she continued to bleed. I hope and prayer this small study will bring you one step closer on your journey to touching Jesus. May you find healing for your weary heart, body and soul.

Please join me in reading about our sister in Mark 5:25-34

Read this dramatic interaction again slowly as you put yourself in her lonely and desperate shoes.

What do you think her ailment was? (twelve years of bleeding so she is referred to as the hemorrhaging woman)

During our discussion one thought was perhaps she had fibroids or was in perimenopause? Could her bleeding have been from polyps or colon cancer? This is all speculation as the bible gives no more detail except that she has bleed mysteriously for 12 years.

How old was the child who was ill in the story surrounded this one? Look up Luke 2:41-52 and see how old Jesus was when he was found in the temple teaching?

Yes! The answer is 12 for both cases. Twelve is the age in Jewish tradition that a young boy becomes a man and is responsible for himself spiritual. More on this to follow. I have found that numbers have great significance and importance in God’s word.

Do you think Jesus knew who touched him? Why did he ask the question and what did his question give her the choice to do?

Is God all-knowing? Yes…and Jesus is “God with skin” so of course Jesus knew who touched him. He also knew her heart and all her sufferings. The mysterious bleeding and the time, money and dashed hopes she had spent on doctors. How she bore this alone as she was considered in this culture to be “unclean” and if she were to touch someone else they would be considered “unclean” too. She was most likely looked down on as in these times it was believed that her “sin” must have caused this illness. She not only needed physical healing but confirmation that God had not abandoned her and was not punishing her with this ailment. By asking this question, she needed to exercise her faith once again by professing in public what she had done.

Do you think it took more faith to touch his garment or to profess out loud what she had done?

Absolutely. It took more faith to publicly profess that she had violated “religious law” and put others at risk to becoming “unclean” as well and risk a rebuking or even having the power be taken away. She showed great faith in not running off with her miracle (stealing a miracle) but staying and trusting that Jesus would be kind and loving.

How did Jesus address Her? The only place in scripture where he used this word to address a woman?

Daughter. Yes.. he called her Daughter. This is huge sister…don’t rush through this.

If he calls her daughter, than he is saying that He is her father. If she is His daughter, she has rights to a royal inheritance as He is the King of Kings. She has the right to come forward and ask for healing. God says in His word, that a Father will give to his children what they need when they come to him. (Luke 11:11)

How thirsty she must have been to hear that she had faith, when she had been judged and looked down upon for so long. And to add insult to injury, she had been blamed for her illness.

Jesus stopped his travels for a woman. An unclean woman who was rejected, alone and considered an outcast.

He not only healed her instantly, but he called her “daughter” in front of her accusers. He saw her heart and let everyone know that it was not her sins that caused the illness but her faith in Jesus Christ that resulted in her healing.

What might the number 12 have to do with all of this? After twelve years of suffering what may have been happening within her soul?

In Biblical times a young boy is considered to be a man at after the age of 12…think Bar mitzvah. Bar means “son” and mitzvah means “commandment.” So a young Jewish boy who turns 13 (Son of Commandment) is now spiritual responsible to know and follow the commandments. (no longer are his parents responsible for him spiritually.) So after 12 years of growth through suffering, she is now ready to be called not a daughter who still has the weak faith of a child but a daughter who has the strong faith of a woman. She is now a mature womanly daughter who has a deep faith that has been tested and survived. Picture a mature tree that has been through a drought and its roots have gone down deep in the ground searching for water. She persisted and did not give up until she found the living God who came to heal the sick.

Man……does Jesus love his woman.

Please look up James 4:8

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

Look this up and underline it in your bible. Put next to it today’s date.

So my dear sister sister. This is what I hope you gleaned from this study.

God wants us to draw near to him and reach out with our hands for Jesus.
God see’s your suffering and notices you. He stops and turns to you and looks in your heart with kindness and compassion.
Sometimes God doesn’t heal right away as with this woman of 12 years of suffering. Sometimes God waits and “heals our bodies in heaven”.
She was growing in her faith during this dry desert time. God is more concerned with our spiritual health than our physical health. Our souls will last forever, while our bodies are wasting away in this fallen world.
Drawing near to Jesus can mean prayer and reading scripture, repenting/going to confession, attending church and spending time with your sweet sisters.
How to be healthy physically? Eat healthy foods and exercise.
How to be healthy spiritually? Eat the word of God……the bible and the Eucharist. Exercise your faith as this woman did as she drew near to Jesus.

Pray and ask with faith for Physically healing, but be most concerned is your spiritual healing.

because……………Man……Jesus loves His Women.

Man….does Jesus love us women. #2 Woman caught in Adultery

#2 The Women who met Mercy (The Women caught in adultery)

Hi Sweet Sister….so glad you could join our discussion as we study another dramatic interaction of Jesus and a woman.

Exposed. She stood alone after being ripped from a bed of passion and placed in front of a crowd of judgmental religious leaders. She was a pawn used to bring down the meek prophet Jesus. Imagine yourself in her place as she stands confused, embarrassed, humiliated and scared to death. Her heart must have raced as her adrenaline rose causing her to seek to “fight or flight”. However, she was as trapped as the man Jesus who was writing in the sand.

This unnamed woman did not seek Jesus out as did contemplative Mary (Woman #1) who sat at Jesus’ feet. She was caught committing Adultery and thrown into a group of religious leaders who were jealous of Jesus and trying to put him into a “no win” position. Let us study another way that:

Man…………………………..does Jesus love His women.

Let’s start at the beginning in the Gospel of John chapter 8: 1-11.

Where did Jesus go the night before this dramatic interaction? What do you think Jesus was doing there?

He left his disciples to be alone. Perhaps he was praying for wisdom as to the next days’ events? Spending time with His Father God as Mary modeled for us in Chapter 1?

2. Where is the “Man” caught in Adultery? Does the law require the man to be stoned as well?

Read Deuteronomy 22:22-24. Since these leaders and Elders asked for Stoning it appears this woman was a betrothed virgin. So the man should have also been stoned. It is a mystery as to where he was during this confrontation. He certainly was not defending her.

She stands abandoned, betrayed and alone. But is she alone? Are we ever alone as daughters of the King? Have you ever felt accused by others? Attacked and misunderstood? Write down what happened and how you felt.

What women in the New Testament (she is related to Jesus) could have been stoned?

Yes…his own mother….Mary could have been stoned…should have been stoned (according to the law) if Joseph choose to expose her in the same way.

Since the woman (Mary) was pregnant the child would have died as well.

How would this world be different if Jesus had died in Mary’s womb? How would you and your world be different?

Meditate on this awhile.

God intervened with Angels (messengers from God) to save Mary and the son of God.

Who would intervene for this women….?

What was Jesus writing in the sand?

A. Names ? Read Jeremiah 17:13 Some scholars believe that he was writing names in the sand….

A medieval tradition was the latin, “ Terra Terra Accusta” which means the earth accuses earth.“Those that turn from the Lord will be written in the dust, because they have forsaken the Lord, the spring of Living water.”

What is the opposite of being written in the dust?

Exodus 32:32 Moses begs the Lord the Lord to forgive the Isrealites or blot his name from the Book of Life. The Lord Replied to Moses, “Whoever has sinned against me I will blot out of my book. In Psalms this is referred to the Book of Life. In Psalm 69: 28 David sings about his enemies and asks, “ May they be blotted out of the book of Life and not be listed with the righteous.”

B. The 10 commandments?

Some scholars believe he may have been writing out the sins of the elders or perhaps the 10 commandments. Exodus 31: 18 “When the Lord finished speaking to Moses on Mount Sinai, he gave him the two tablets of stone inscribed by the finger of God.”

Perhaps Jesus wrote with his finger the commandment, Thou Shalt not Kill. Weren’t they all guilty of this command?

In the book of Luke verse 20 Jesus states “But if I drive out demons by the finger of God, then the Kingdom of God has come upon you.”

What a powerful symbol for the religious leaders to see him writing in the sand. Quietly, the leaders are reminded that the 10 commandments were written by the finger of God. Now, Jesus is writing out commands.

Could he be writing out the two commandments that all the law and prophets hang on? Matthew 22:37

Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as your self

Were they being loving toward this woman? toward Jesus?

Do you think they realized that the Kingdom of God was upon them?

If Jesus is God made flesh, than is not Jesus the finger of God?

C. Comfort for the frightened woman?

One of the sweet sisters thought perhaps that Jesus was writing out something to comfort the woman. This certainly would align with the kindness and love shown the woman after they all leave.

Perhaps he wrote words similar to those found in Isiah 41:10

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, yes, I will uphold you with my Righteous right hand”.

To counteract the words of her accusers:…..”adultery” “sinner” “harlot” “condemned” etc.

5. What do you think Jesus might have written? _______, __________,________________.

Jesus states, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

Why do you think they all walked away? Why the elders first?

Who is the only one who is without sin? The only one who can forgive sins?

________________________________________

So this passage does not tell us what the woman physically did immediately after her accusers left…….

6. What do you think she must have done if Jesus forgave her and said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, from now on do not sin any more.”?

Sweet sister….I imagine her falling to her knees in relief and gratitude. Kissing the feet of Jesus and thanking Him for defending her. I believe she repented and decided to turn to Jesus and turn away from sin.

Read Psalm 51….such a beautiful and powerful song of Repentance.

Read slowly over verses 18-19

“For you do not desire sacrifice; a burnt offering you would not accept. My sacrifice is a broken spirit; God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart.”

Do you need to turn from a sinful choice and turn toward Jesus? Are you “all in” or are you still sitting on the fence? What do you need to leave behind that is preventing you from following even closer to Jesus and his holiness? Will your name be written in the dust as one who turns away from the Lord or will your name be written in the book of Life as one who turns toward the Lord.

He waits patiently for you and I to offer our broken, humbled hearts at his feet.

Man………………………….does Jesus love us women.

A Love to Last the Ages

Man…..does Jesus love His Women. #1 Mary and her sister Martha

Come on in Sweet Sister and sit for a while.

Bring your Bible and an open heart.

Your sweet sisters discuss the relationship of Jesus with Mary and her sister Martha

Let’s start in Luke 10 38-42.

Jesus visits sisters Mary and Martha and brother Lazarus in their home. This study will focus on Mary and where she chooses to sit.

1. Which sister does and doesn’t do as expected within her culture? ___________

Instead of doing as is culturally expected of a woman (cooking and cleaning) as her sister Martha does…Mary sits at the feet of the Messiah.

Now please turn to Acts. Ch. 22:3 to find out what this means in 1st Century Palestine Judaism to sit at the feet of another.

When Paul makes his defense, he describes sitting at the ______of Gamalie.

Some versions of Bibles use “a student of Gamalie” because in biblical times to say one “sits at the feet” of someone means to be their student.

2. Which woman does Jesus stand up for? ___________________

Don’t rush by this my sweet sister….Mary is not only taking the position of a student, Jesus defends her and tells her that she is making the best choice or “Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

Now look up Luke 8: 1-3

3. Does Jesus travel with just the 12 disciples? Who are these women? How did they know him? Would this be socially acceptable in 1st century Palestine?

Wow. I had always envisioned Jesus spending all his time with his inner circle…his twelve disciples. The above verse tells another story…that besides Mary (Martha’s sister) there were other women who followed him and had a strong relationship with Jesus.

Lastly, please turn to John 11: 17-44.

Jesus arrives after their brother dies and has been in tomb for 4 days. Both Mary and Martha make the same statement “If you had been here, my brother would not have died”. Martha makes her statements standing up….

4. Where does Mary fall to when she makes her statement?

My Bible reads…..”she fell at his feet”

This was revelation to me sweet sisters.

Falling to His feet is a act of Mary demonstrating that she is a true disciple and will follow Jesus even though he came too late to save her brother.

Her positioning is often seen as an act of surrender of saying with her body, “Thy will be done”.

Culturally though she is affirming that she was his disciple just like his male followers. Sitting once again at his feet must have been a reminder to both her and Jesus that she has “chosen the better part”and was drawing near to him once again.

She proclaims her faith even though she doesn’t understand the “Why’s” of death and the heartache that follows.

Such a heartbreaking scene that truly breaks the heart of Jesus.

How he loves this woman Mary….

He weeps with her.

He snorts with anger. (God hates death….hates what it does to those of us left behind)

This is why Jesus came to earth….to reverse death. To conquer death through his resurrection. Raising Lazereth is a precursor to His own resurrection. For as He tells Martha, I am the resurrection and the Life, who ever believes in me, even if he dies will life, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. (Luke 11:25)

and this Jesus…Loves you my sweet sister. Wants a deep close relationship as he had with Mary….He wants to weep with you…snort at this broken world and how it has hurt you….He wants most of all to be the resurrection in your life and in the lives of your loves ones.

So in conclusion, how should this change our own hearts and lives?

How can we develop this close relationship with our Lord Jesus ? How can our head knowledge grow into Heart knowledge?

When, where and how can you sit at the Master’s feet?_____________

We concluded our study sharing how we spent time to grow our relationship with Jesus.

Geri (a Catholic sweet sister) sharing how she had her coffee and a special chair and started with the Our Father, Hail Mary and Glory be and then reads scripture.

Sue shared charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening Daily Devotional a beautiful way to start and end the day.

Amber (Me) reminded the sisters of the free app called first5.org. Sisters who are studying a chapter a day and then a devotional to read and a video on Saturdays. This app from Proverbs 31 was created to encourage us to give God the first minutes of our day.

I also shared how to stay focused using the ACTS method. This includes the four types of prayer in appropriate order: Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving and Supplication. This helps me to stay focused as it is so easy to become distracted and writing down God’s attributes, one’s sins, what one is Thankful for and who one is praying for really helps.

Next, I shared how I view spending time in the morning as Having a Date with Jesus and read a poem about this that is on my blog post, “Confessions of a Survivor Addict”.

I will attach these my sweet sisters to the Sweet Sister community page on Facebook. So please join us and share with your Sweet Sisters any ideas on how to keep your date with Jesus.

“Martha, Martha you are anxious and worried about many things…there is need of one thing….Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” Jesus

Have you chosen the better part?