forgiveness – Sweet Sisters

What is Sweeter than Revenge?

Ouch. To be human and in relationship means that others will disappoint us. Sometimes it means they will hurt our feelings or worse betray us.

What is your response when others hurt you? To respond in anger? to withdraw? to give the silent treatment?

While I wrote the theme poem for my book Love. Always. Wins., I pondered the time Jesus got down on his knees and carefully and lovingly washed the feet of Judas; the one who would soon betray him for 30 pieces of silver. He didn’t skip Judas, even though Jesus knew (because He is God, He Knew what was going to happen in the future) that Judas would later betray Him publicly with a kiss of death.

Surprisingly, Jesus didn’t skip Judas, but instead Jesus became like a servant and washed and dried the feet of His future enemy while he did the same for those that loved and adored Him. He treated them all the same and lovingly made sure they were prepared for the revealing at this last Passover supper when Jesus would confirm that He was going to be the eternal, perfect, sacrificial lamb.

How could Jesus do this?

Jesus knew that no person could prevent God’s perfect plan. He did not have to fear what Judas would do, for He knew that no person could ever prevent God’s great plan and will for Him. In fact Judas’ betrayal was part of the plan.

What was Jesus response to Judas? Love. His role was to Love…………. for God is Love.

Why did He do this?

Perhaps one part of why He did this was to model for us what we should do when others hurt us. Jesus knew that His followers would also have frienemies and He promised to pray for us. And He gave us this beautiful example of how to live free of bitterness and resentment. As disciples of Him, we are to imitate Jesus in every tough and messy situation. We can let go of our anger and focus on the truth that No person in your life or mine can prevent God’s wonderful, fruitful plan for us.

So what do we do ? We are not to “keep a record of wrongs” but to focus on the good of the person. My best piece of practical advice is to write down Ten good things about the person. Then, ask God for help you to forgive as generously and completely as you have been forgiven by God. Pray to God to bless the one who has hurt you. Then, you will have the sweet thrill of Victory…..not the bitter taste of resentment and revenge.

Love.Always.Wins

Oh my sweet friend

True Love Always Wins,

Come to The Well, again and again,

Fill up to the brim with all that’s true,

He came to restore, make All things New,

Oh my sweet friend, True Love Always Wins.

Chorus:

True love is bloody, and sometimes it hurts,

True love kneels down, then takes off His shirt,

Love washes our feet and seeks all to save,

Love always wins, for He conquered the grave.

Oh my sweet friend, True Love Never Fails

Once we sat helpless in death-rows jail,

God’s red love lavished to set us free,

Long-suffering turns the prison door key,

Oh my sweet friend, True Love Never Fails.

chorus :

True Love is bloody and sometimes it hurts,

True Love kneels down, then takes off His shirt,

Love washes our feet and seeks all to save,

Love always wins, for He conquered the grave.

Oh my sweet friend, True Love. Always. Wins,

Love covers the ugliest of sins,

Pull out by the root your bitterness,

Pay forward God’s undeserved forgiveness,

Oh my sweet friend, True Love. ALWAYS. Wins.

A St. Patricks Day Truth Bomb: What we really should be focusing on today

by Amber O’Brien

Top o’ the morin’ to ya!

Long ago this was a common greeting in Ireland meaning “the best part of the morning to you” and you my friend would say back to me, “And the rest of the day to you”.

I am an O’Brien, which on the Emerald Isle means “House or descendant of Brian”. (Brian Boru was the High King of Ireland until 1014) Since I now hold the Irish married last name of O’Brien, I am often asked how our family celebrates St. Patty’s day. While most people drink green beer and focus on the modern symbols of leprechauns, four leaf clovers and wearing a green piece of clothing so they won’t be pinched ; my thoughts have gone deeper to an awe-filled pondering, the more I learn about the amazing real -life hero of St. Patrick.

How did he do it? I wonder.

How did St. Patrick forgive the Irish pirates that enslaved him? At age 16 he was kidnapped from Britain and taken away far from his homeland and family to a wet and chilly island called Ireland and for six years was mistreated as a slave.

But this is the part that really blows my weak and unforgiving heart and mind……..after arriving home he studies to become a priest and then travels back to share the good news to the very place where he was enslaved.

Whoa Nelly…..hold back that unicorn jumping over a 7 colored rainbow and slowly and carefully Ponder with me what appears to be humanly impossible.

So St. Patrick not only forgives the people who enslaved him, he spends 20 years traveling the island of Ireland to share the truth of how Jesus came to set them free. For the Irish people of the 5th century this included being free from druidism and all kinds of paganistic practices. He was beaten during this time and robbed and put in prison and enslaved again for 60 days yet he keep helping those that continued to try to hurt him.

How do you think he was able to forgive and then spend his life shepherding these lost people who worshiped false gods and people?

“After I arrived in Ireland, I tended sheep every day and I prayed frequently during the day. More and more the Love of God increased, and my sense of awe before God. Faith grew, and my spirit was moved, so in one day I would pray up to one hundred times and at night perhaps the same.” St. Patrick’s Confessio

He states that before he was captured, “He knew not the true God” and I believe that those years of prayer including much confessions and sweet forgiveness. In fact, he begins his autobiography as, “My name is Patrick. I am a sinner.”

After six years of working as an enslaved shepherd and most of all six years of prayerfully waiting: God spoke to Patrick in a dream, saying, “You have fasted well. Very soon you will return to your native country. Then a later voice in a dream said, “Look—your ship is ready.”

He escaped and walked 200 miles to the Irish coast, boarded a ship and eventually home to his family.

God rescued him and brought him home! One would think that would be the end of the story. But God. But God and His love for the Irish people who were involved with all types of paganism and perversions.

Patrick knew the Joy and the gift of being spiritually and physically set free and he quotes this verse that so speaks to his experience in his autobiography.

“Call on me in the day of your distress, and I will set you free and you will glorify me.” Psalm 50:15

St. Patrick knew deep in his soul that he had been forgiven much and so he wanted to extend that love, as a shepherd seeks to protect and care for his sheep.

After Patrick’s escape from slavery and reunion with his loved ones; He decides to become a priest. This took 15 long years of study and preparation. It was not until Patrick was 40 years old that he traveled back to Ireland because of another dream.

He dreamed that he was given a letter from the Irish people and he heard their voices saying, ” We beg you, holy boy, to come and walk again among us”.

Guess who is believed to be the first Irishman that St.Patrick successfully shared about the One True God to?

Milchu, a high priest of druidism, who was Patrick’s former master. (Druids believed that there were many gods and worshiped nature. Ritual Sites were built all over Ireland as they literally worshiped the sun)

Imagine Milchu’s surprise to have a former slave of his come back and not only forgive him of his own personal sins, but share how All his sins could be forgiven. Patrick came back to share the truth that there is only One True God who has three names: the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

( Did he use a three leaf clover to teach the trinity? or is this just tradition? either way He told them about the trinity and Patrick loved his former master and the Irish people so much that he came back and walked among them)

Patrick explains:

“His (God’s) gift was that I would spend my life, if I were worthy of it, to serving them in truth and with humility to the end.”

The ripple effect of Patrick’s forgiveness and mission is astonishing. What a beautiful ripple of Love: Patrick asks God for forgiveness and is set free of sin and forms a personal relationship with the good shepherd as he himself is shepherding. Then he forgives the people who kidnapped and enslaved him, and comes to tell them how to be set free of their own sins and come to know the One True God. Then Monks who came to know the one true God through the ministry of St. Patrick, lovingly write out the Bible by hand and preserve the precious Word of God. (Book of Kells) Then these monks left the Emerald Isle to share with other European countries about how to be set free. The ripple effect of love and forgiveness continues.

Patrick’s joy shines through as he writes:

I am greatly in debt to God. He gave me such great grace, that through me, many people should be born again to God and brought to full life”.

God Gives His Best to us and so we should want to Give God our best.

Just like the Irish greeting about wishing a friend the best part of the day.

Top O’ the mornin’ to ya!

The toughest thing I have ever written or presented: In honor of Steve Narup

(the son of our dear former neighbors completed suicide and I was given the honor of speaking at his celebration of life. Oh how I love Steve who is now “healed in heaven”, his mom and dad, brother and sister so much. As I wrote and painfully delivered these words my heart was feeling the great heartache of all involved. yet………

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. Thessalonians 4:13-14

I feel so connected to the Narup family and to Steve for our families have shared so many highs and lows together. For over 12 years the Narups lived next door to my young family in Country walk community and we literally shared a backyard. A rainbow playground set became the kids meeting place as well as the court behind our homes. My three children and Stef. Steve and Jon and the other neighborhood children built forts on that Rainbow jungle gym. They played Red Rover, kick the can, dodge ball and so many fun outside games. The hill connecting the Narup home and our OBrien home became the perfect sledding area as the children held onto each other and laughed and shouted as they raced down the hill together. They laughed and played and sometimes squabbled. Most times, they were more like siblings than neighbors. Since my children were younger and needed more supervision, I was often outside and sometimes would guide them with conflict resolution. OK so What happened ? so What should you have done? What should you do now? You could say you’re sorry and that you’ll never do that again….ok now its your turn ….you can Say I forgive you and both of you hug or shake hands ….now go on and play and never bring up what happened again. The children would say they were sorry and forgive so quickly and completely and then proceed to play together as if the offence never happened……you know I think that might be one of the reasons why it says in the Bible that we must be like little children to enter the Kingdom of God.

Steve had such a kind heart and definitely took on a big brother role with the younger children. During my children’s birthday parties, sometimes he would help led a game station, I watched as Steve patiently helped and encouraged the younger children and then proudly give then a prize. Later, I watched that same kind and gentle heart grow even larger as he so enjoyed being a dad to his daughter Madison. He was the middle child who so adored His older beautiful and vivacious sister Stef and so cherished his younger brother Jon who is so bright and creative. He was so loved and cared for by his mom and dad who faithfully supported him as he grew and gained confidence socially and in his career. I could tell Steve was both an observer and a deep thinker. Three years ago he sent me one of the kindest birthday messages I have ever received. In it, he thanked me for my role in his life and his family and then he told me to “stay on the path”. I am still so touched every time I think about it: for he reached out to me with gratitude and encouraged me to stay on the narrow path…even though he himself was struggling and searching for his own path.

On Easter Day, he used up some of his last bit of energy to get to church and say He was sorry for his sins and receive the cleansing forgiveness of the sacrament of baptism. He publicly chose to be a follower of Jesus Christ who is the Way, the truth and the Life. He chose the path that leads to everlasting life.

I was recently reminded of the story of the two men who were crucified on either side of Jesus.

One of the men was an observer and a deep thinker and recognized Who Jesus was and despite being in great pain turned to Jesus. He said, “remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

So this late convert who made the good choice…who chose to turn to Jesus while suffering, still physically died that bittersweet day.

He was not immediately rescued, and angels didn’t come to remove him from the cross that he bore.

But we know from God’s word that the man was spiritually reborn the moment that he turned to Jesus. He was completely forgiven, his wounds are now healed in heaven and he is suffering no longer.

And we trust that Steve is completely forgiven, Steve’s wounds are Healed in heaven and Steve is suffering no longer.

For God so loved Steve that He gave His only begotten Son Jesus, that if Steve believes in Him, He should Not perish but have everlasting life.

(for those of you who are hurting now with a broken heart and feeling left behind and perhaps angry or confused by it all ….. I believe Steve would say to you, “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Will you please forgive me? “

And for those of you who, like me, feel a heavy weight of guilt and wish that you had done more for Steve or tried harder or perhaps you left some words unsaid, I believe Steve would say to you and me , “I forgive you, I always knew that you loved me. I love you and I am praying for you. I am praying that you will use every bit of energy that you have to find the path. For only God’s love can heal a broken heart.

And for those that have already found the One who is the Way and the truth and the Life …I believe Steve is now praying and patiently encouraging us as he echos out what all the angels and saints around God’s throne are saying as they are cheering us on: keep going forward, look upward ….. .and Stay on the path!!!!!! )

Famous Last Words ………… What will yours be?

I kept reading the words over and over. The priest who I spoke with just the day before was dead. A faithful, elderly and supposedly retired priest who served the Lord till his very last day when he sat in the confessional booth to help others confess their sins to God. I am so glad I went. I am so glad I waited in the extra long line to speak with him. As I waited I kept asking God, “what sins are separating me from you?” What relationships in my life are not right and keeping me from a closer walk with you God? As I waited in line and listened to the soft peaceful music, the holy spirit reminded me of individuals in my life who I still had not fully forgiven. A tightness of heart occurred when I thought of them and I knew I wanted a clean, soft heart that overflowed with Love instead.

I shared my desire to fully forgive these individuals with the recently departed Father. Then, I received the gift and privilege of some of his last words on this broken, messy earth. He wisely told me, “About forgiveness…..we are commanded to forgive; but remember that just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean that you will forget what happened to you. That is not the way humans were created.”

His final words on forgiveness reminded me of some other famous last words. The Final words of Jesus Christ as he slowly died on the cross.

“Father, forgive them, they know not what they do”. (Luke 23:34)

Who is Jesus forgiving in the statement above? not just the Romans…He is a personal God who is speaking to You and I. We are the “they”.

Sometimes an earthly example (a criminal before a judge scenerio) can help to explain an overwhelmingly incredible and mind-blowing spiritual truth. So imagine that you are about to go before God (the Judge and Jury) and make an account for all your lifelong sins and transgressions. You speak with your attorney and confess all that you have done throughout your life as well as all the missed opportunities to help others. So your advocate attorney goes before the judge (whose job is to make sure that Heaven remains perfect with no sin or sadness or sickness in it) and says, “Your Honor……Yes. If she came to Heaven her sin would ruin it. I agree with you that she deserves the death penalty and then she should spend eternity in Hell. She is guilty and justice says that she needs to die as a consequence.”

You stand shocked with your mouth ajar.”What? I thought you were going to defend me ?” you start screaming at your attorney, ” Why don’t you help me?”

You fall to the ground in despair. When you look up, the holy, white-hot face of your advocate blinds you with Love as He declares boldly, “I will take on your death sentence. I love you and want you to spend eternity in Heaven where there is no sin. So I will destroy death and sin by dying for you and rising from the dead.”

The weight of all our sins: past, present and future fell upon His shoulders so the penalty would be accomplished. For you and I personally participated when God allowed mankind to torture and kill His only begotten son. My selfishness nailed his feet to the beam. Your sin became a thorn in his already wounded body.

Now you are overcome with joy and start to sob as the handcuffs and shackles of sin are released from your legs , “Thank you … oh Jesus…. thank you so much. I Believe. I Believe that you paid the penalty once and for all. Thank you for the gift of being set free from the death penalty and everlasting death.”

God in the flesh kneels down to embrace you and tells you that you may now enter the Holy of Holies because the veil of separation has been torn open. You now have special access to the throne of Almighty God. He calls you His child for you are now a member in the family of God. He calls you friend because He did this to restore the intimate relationship that Adam and Eve had with God before they sinned. He calls you princess because you are a now a flawless, beautiful daughter of the King of Kings. Your time on earth will never be the same…….. as well as beyond.

You slowly rise up and in awed thanksgiving you ask, “After all you did for me….Jesus, what can I do for you??”

And then you remember His last words on the cross.

Father, Forgive them……..they know not what they do.

gulp. Did I just say that I was willing to do anything for God after all He did for me? But this is sooo hard in this broken world when people can be so mean. “But Lord…..They made my life so much harder when I needed help and was already struggling”.

“Yes”, Jesus would answer ” Just like when I suffered on the cross and your sins made my suffering so much harder”.

God came to reconcile with you and wants you to reconcile with those around you as much as it is up to you. (of course you don’t have to have a relationship with someone to forgive them…in cases of abuse etc…we need to set boundaries) God wants the best for us and unforgiveness causes stress that can lead to disease and most of separation from God. He wants your heart to be free and not tight. There is a difference from remembering and dwelling on our past. Look up at the cross of Jesus, and not back at how others have hurt you. Focus on how you are now free from death row; from eternal separation from God and perfect heaven. Forgiving them means you are going to let your Big protective Heavenly Father deal with what happened. You are releasing the situation into His Hands and asking God to take the bitter root of unforgiveness out of your heart.

Strive for peace with everyone, and for that holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one be deprived of the grace of God, and that no bitter root spring up to cause trouble, through which many may become defiled. Hebrews 12 14-15

Trust that God will use your painful experiences for good someday. He can transform all things that we offer up into His loving and firm hands. Ask God to give you compassion for the person you struggle to forgive. Ask God to help you to forgive as we humanly can not do this alone. Remember that you have special access? Use it.

Each time a thought comes to your mind, say out Loud, “I forgive them in the Name of Jesus.” Forgiveness is a process that takes time. While you may always remember what happened, the sting will slowly go away and your heart will be light and free.

What will your last words be?

I hope we can say together on that resurrection Day, “Father, I forgave them as you forgave me. Thank you for setting my heart and soul free.”

The 10 Things That All Christians Can Agree On Day #15 The Purpose Driven Life

See how very much our Heavenly Father loves us, for He allows us to be called His children, and we really are! 1 John 3:1

I call you my sweet “sister” because in the family of God we are children of the same father and name you “Sweet” because we should be encouraging each other and sharing in each other’s joys.

So I wanted to share with you the joy of my granddaughter’s baptism. I hesitated before deciding to share this as I know different denominations differ on infant baptism. In fact, my son in law hestitated on having her baptized as an infant as well. Utimately, all the Christians in my family (Protestants and Catholics) see this as just the beginning as we pray that Megan Elise will continue to say “Yes” to following Jesus all the days of her life.

I started this blog to reach out to ALL my Christian sisters as I have a respect for how God is at work in all denominations that believe that Jesus is “the way, the truth and the life”. I grew up Methodist, spent my late teens attending a Baptist church and joined the Catholic Church as a young adult. Through the years God has chipped away at many of my misconceptions and prejudices I had against the Catholic Church. I now know from experience that there are sisters and brothers who have a deep personal relationship with Jesus Christ spread throughout ALL the christian denominations. However, our enemy wants us to argue with our brothers and sisters over doctrinal differences so we have less energy to spread the gospel.

Our pulpits should not be used to speak negatively about different denominations but instead to preach the Good News of love, truth and peace. Our focus and energy should always be on how to work together to spread the gospel message that God has provided a way for us to be set free from the chains of sin and death.

So let us focus on what we all can agree on as sister and brothers in the family of God:

1. We can all agree that our deepest heart prayer is that our children will grow up to know, love and serve Jesus Christ all the days of their lives. While I am thankful for the sacrament of baptism, my biggest prayer is that my granddaughter Megan will continue to say “Yes” to Jesus throughout her life.

2. We can agree that we are all works in progress and that we all make mistakes. We all need the Lord.

3. None of us can earn our way to heaven. Jesus paid the price. His sacrifice is enough. While I am thankful for the graces I have found in confessing to a priest, I know that my protestant sisters can be forgiven by coming directly to Jesus with a humble heart. (If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 )

4. The evidence of someone who is in the family of God will be good fruit. They will slowly care more about the things that Jesus cared about: the poor, the sick, the aged, those that are chained by addiction and other sins. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Matthew 7:16

5. Families share our joys and divide our sorrows. In the same Church that my granddaughter Megan Elise was baptized in, my daughter Megan Elizabeth was given the sacrament of burial. My family came to add to our joy for the Baptism. My family also came to divide our sorrow for burial 22 years before. I truly felt some of the burden lift through each person who came to the funeral and I received added joy for each family member who came to celebrate our great joy of committing Megan Elise into the family of God.

So do your best to go to the funerals and to the baptisms, the weddings, the birthdays….While we can’t be everywhere and attend everything, love often requires sacrifice, so prayerfully do your best to be there for each other.

6. We might not always get along with all of our family members. One of my favorite quotes goes something like this: Some family members on your life will feel like Velvet and some will feel like sandpaper. God will use the sandpaper family members to make you less rough around the edges, smoother and able to reflect the face of your creator when others look at your life. The velvet ones give us a glimpse into to how much God loves and adores us. We need both the Sandpaper and Velvet relationships to continue to become more like Jesus…..some people will drive us to our knees in prayer and some in thanksgiving.

7. Forgiveness. My favorite marriage quote is by Ruth Bell Graham “A successful marriage is the union between two good Forgivers”. Really this is true for all relationships isn’t it? We constantly step (trespass) on each other’s toes, each other hearts, hopes and dreams with lead feet. Has a family member disappointed you? Let. It. Go. Keep saying the quote that Jesus prayed as he slowly died a cruel and violent death. “Forgive them Father…they know not what they do”. Pray for your sisters and brothers and especially for those who currently share a strained relationship with you. The enemy’s goal is for division between us sisters and brothers. Don’t give the enemy any ground. Our Jesus is the Prince of Peace. So let Him rule in your hearts, and in all your earthly and heavenly relationships.

8. God loves us through our families. So seek out and make time to be together. Two of the Commandments are: Honor the Sabbath and Honor your mother and Father. Perhaps seek to spend Sunday with family more? Sunday dinner? Perhaps Pizza so no one needs to work? Play a game after dinner. Chat about the week. God loves us through our families.

9. What if I am really irritated or angry at a particular family member? Write 10 good things about them on a piece of paper. I bet by the time you reach number 10 that you won’t be as irritated. Focusing on the good brings perspective. Writing things down changes your way of thinking so make sure you don’t just think of the positive things but write. them. down. Consider giving the family member the list as an encouragement or as a present. (No need to explain the reason why you began the list:)

10. We may have different Christian brothers and sisters through the many seasons of our lives, but we have one Heavenly Father who gave us his only son, Jesus Christ. At each season of your life, seek out Christian sisters and brothers to challenge and encourage you along the way.

So Thank you for sharing in my joy over my Grandbaby’s baptism even if you don’t believe in infant baptism. Thank you for praying with me that she will grow up to know, love and serve Jesus all the days of her life.

We are Family.

A Wake Up Call

Four years had passed since I’d last seen Annie and her daughter, and as she approached me, my heart froze, halting between joy and trepidation. Children’s laughter filled the air during the annual family carnival hosted by my preschool, but all I could focus on in those few moments was my last interaction with Annie. I was overjoyed to see her, yet I feared our reconnection might be marred by the fact that I had fired her years ago. Was she angry with me? Was she here to confront me about what had happened? How much had changed in the time since I’d last seen her?

Annie had worked in the infant room of my preschool. Not only did she lovingly care for each infant in her classroom, but she cared for her room as a whole. She loved a clean classroom and the order it provided; she meticulously cleaned each item and table, and continuously tidied up to keep the room spotless. Her daughter, Jenna, thrived in the preschool, as well. Jenna’s father had died in a car crash soon after she was born, leaving Annie a young, single mom. We joked how Jenna was Annie’s “Mini-Me” as they looked so much alike. She was a diligent and determined young woman who took great pride in her work and I was glad to have her as an employee.

After a year of teaching in the infant room, Annie was faced with another tragedy. Her best friend suddenly died of an aneurysm and her world spun out of control. Her focus shifted from her classroom as she processed this new grief on top of her older grief. Instead of working through her grief, Annie put her efforts into attempting to numb the pain. Noticing she was struggling, I invited her into my office and tried to encourage her to join a grief group, but she was not yet ready to face her grief head on. She was trying to outrun her pain, and it was wearing on her. She increasingly called out of work, and on the days she did show up her co- teacher ended up doing most of the classroom duties. My heart ached for her, but as the owner of the preschool, my main responsibility had to remain the children, and providing them with the best care possible. I was torn. I had compassion for Annie and her situation, but I also had compassion for the children in her care and her co-teacher. I wrote her name in my prayer journal and prayed for her each morning. I hoped and prayed that she would find healing some way. That she would learn healthy ways to handle her grief. That her weariness would lift. That she would return to us, the focused, caring, diligent teacher we all knew and loved.

Then, another teacher reported Annie had nodded off during the children’s nap time. This is a major violation of my school’s policy. My director brought her into my office to discuss our concern. On a Thursday afternoon, I told her that she needed to make some changes in her personal life and to take Friday off and come back in Monday with a fresh start. I also had to inform her that if it happened again I would need to fire her.

She came back in Monday, and I was hopeful that she had made some positive changes. But a few days later when the children were resting she dozed off again. As the owner and lead supervisor on site, I knew what I “needed” to do, as the safety of the students must come first. However, asking Annie and her daughter to leave was the last thing I “wanted” to do. I invited her in and told her that she needed to leave immediately. Annie was very quiet and did not dispute that she had fallen asleep. She calmly picked up her daughter and left the building. My heart grieved as she walked out the door. The last thing I’d wanted to do was send her off when I knew she was grieving, but I knew it was the right decision for the school. For years, I questioned my decision. I wondered if I had failed her. I wondered what had became of her and Jenna.

And so four years later when she stood before me, I was filled with mixed emotions. I was so happy to see her and her beautiful Mini-Me. I was relieved and overjoyed that they seemed to be doing well. But I couldn’t help but wonder how she was feeling toward me now. I couldn’t help but wonder how my decision had impacted their lives.

As Annie and Jenna approached,

Annie looked me in the eye and said, “Thanks for the wakeup call.”

She wasn’t angry. She didn’t blame me or my staff. She was grateful. We hugged and caught up and she and Jenna returned to the carnival.

I was blessed with the opportunity to rekindle a relationship with Annie and to learn more about what was happening during that time. She confided that she felt her life was falling apart and felt lost. She had settled into a toxic, abusive relationship and had lost the will to fight for herself. Instead of heeding my advice for a grief support group, she continued to let her world spin out of control, staying out late with friends and not getting enough sleep. I learned that Annie struggled with being alone at night and was prescribed medication for anxiety that had made her excessively tired during the day. She shared her sorrow at being fired from the place that she loved so much, but that it served as a much needed wakeup call. Unsettled by being asked to leave, Annie was driven to start fighting for and taking responsibility for her happiness, step by step. She found new friends, a new boyfriend, and a new job as a nanny. Annie told me,

“While you can’t control what happens to you, you can control what happens next. If you want a happy life, live a happy life.”

Annie’s words of gratitude felt like a spring rain after a dry, cold winter wait. I was grateful that my tough decision had positively impacted her life. How many employers have an employee they have fired come back and thank them? I was grateful for the confirmation that sometimes tough love is needed in tough situations. I no longer questioned myself and wondered if I failed her. I rejoiced in knowing that she had taken control not only of her grief, but of her life and her own happiness.

As I shared with my husband my interaction with Annie, we both felt that we would like her to come back and teach in our school. I am a big believer in second chances, and knew in my heart that Annie had more than earned hers. We called her and asked if she would like to come back to work for us. Providentially, the family she was working for was moving to Florida. She used this opportunity to return to our school as a long term substitute. She came back full of joy and energy and the hard work and dedication we had initially seen those years ago. Soon, she was back to being a full time teacher. Her first year back, Annie won Teacher of the Year. She has now been with us for three years and I am grateful to have her.

Who would have thought that letting her go was the wakeup call that would bring her back? Only the God of wakeup calls and second chances.

When You Wake Up Regretting Your Choices From The Night Before…

Dear Sweet Sister,

I heard that you woke up regretting your choices from the night before. I have been there sister ….many times. We try to blame someone else, make justifications and excuses …..and then the agonizing guilt when we finally admit that we made an unholy choice and disappointed our Holy God.

It we truly don’t want to make the same mistake again and grow from this then we do need to feel that pain for a short while. For God loves you and I so much that He wants us to grow in holiness and learn from our mistakes. Name your sin and find a bible verse that deals with it so you will be better prepared next time. (google it:) What should you have done differently? What will you do next time to avoid a similar situation or outcome?

Now the good news………..

IMG_8099MA31589040-0001 — *Our sin is like a drop of water in the Ocean of God’s Mercy………………Mother Angelica*

Our sin is like a drop of water in the Ocean of God’s Mercy.

Compared to God’s ocean of Love and Mercy, your sin is just a drop. Think of how huge the ocean is…water beyond what your eyes and mind could ever comprehend. Now try to comprehend Mercy and forgiveness that is beyond what we could ever deserve. A forgiveness that erases our sins as if they never existed. So write your sin down and tell God that you are sorry. If you are at the seashore write it in the sand. If you are catholic arrange to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. The key is to acknowledge your sin.

If we acknowledge our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.

1 John 1:9

Do you need to apologize to a friend or family member? make restitution? Even though we are forgiven, sometimes we need to show that we are sorry. Ask God for wisdom and help with this…courage too.

Now rejoice! You are forgiven.

God asked Mother Angelica, as she stood by the ocean after throwing back a drop of water that had landed on her arm….

“Can you find it now ?”

Walk sweet sister as one who has been forgiven much and then offer that same generous mercy to all those around you.

Oh Give My Husband a Brand New Wife

My friend’s sobs echoed over the phone as she shared that her husband didn’t value the “new her,” but instead wanted to keep her back from growing into the vivacious woman I knew her to be. How sad that he couldn’t value growth and put in the effort and grow to love the “new Kelly.” I sat down and wrote this poem after our phone conversation.

A Brand New Marriage

Oh give my husband a brand new wife
One that will serve him lovingly
Give him the helpmate he deserves
And may that “new wife” always be me

Oh give my husband a hot mistress
One that will surprise him lovingly
Give her energy and fresh ideas
And may that “mistress” always be me

Oh give my husband a new best friend
One that will listen lovingly
Give her wisdom to find the good
And may that “best friend” always be me

So how does one protect one’s marriage as we grow individually and through the seasons of Life?

Here are some tidbits of advice that my husband and I have gleamed through the years.

Happy 27th Wedding Anniversary to my husband!

Keep dating.
Our priest from Gettysburg College, Father Phil gave us the advice to “keep dating” when he met with us before our marriage. With each season of our marriage, life has changed, and so have our dates. A neighbor babysitter coming over for two hours a week so Dave and I could go out when our children were small, intimate lunches when we started our business, family members who watched the children so we could take a long weekend. Be creative, be proactive, and just do it.

“The best thing you can do for your children is to have a good marriage.”
This was the advice we received when we went to a day-long marriage encounter. This quote helped take away all my guilt about leaving my children to “date” their father or travel with him. The children will grow up and share their own relationships and putting our spouse first is a way to model for them what a thriving marriage looks like.

“A successful marriage is the union of two forgivers.”
– Ruth Graham Bell.
Yes, your partner is not perfect. Yes, they are irritating at times. Yes, they keep hurting you.
This is what Love is about. Forgiving and seeing the overall good in your spouse. May they see the overall good in us. For we are imperfect people, who make mistakes and we can be so irritating to others. Love is a covering. Love does not “keep a record of wrongs,” so when you are angry or hurt or lonely, write down 10 good things about your husband and see if your perspective changes. Keep a record of Rights. What is right about your hubby.

This weekend seek out a way to date your spouse. What are some creative ways that you like to spend with your spouse? Please share them in the comments below.