I just love all the pithy pickle phrases that is part of being on the pickleball courts. My first goal for my partner and I, if we start falling behind and feeling anxious, is to be “unpickled“.
To be pickled means: to be skunked and end of with 0 points…so I get excited when we get that first point and I yell out, “We can’t be pickled now!”
But how do we get “unpickled” in life? How do we keep from the vinegar of life that can slowly turn us into sour pickles?
What is the opposite of vinegar ? I say sugar…like the sugar sprinkled out from our Dear Heavenly Father’s hands this past weekend. Let me explain.
A small gathering of some sweet sisters occurred and we listened to the Sept. 8th first5.org audio taping on the topic of the tension of being in exile in the bible (like Adam and Eve banished from the garden, the Israelites wandering in the desert, Joseph being sold into slavery…etc..) and then we discussed how this all related to the times in our lives when we felt unrooted …or our children were unrooted and our “mommy hearts” were torn in the process.
One sister shared how she was unrooted a lot as a child because her dad was in the military, another sister feels torn between home and a job that are in different locations, one friend has a child who was exiling themselves by bad choices….another whose long season as a mother had ended with an empty nest. Now what?
We all could relate to being exiled like so many biblical men and women who often were confused, hurt, anxious etc…. when God allowed painful times of Exile.
One sister recently made the tough decision to shake their adult child out of the warm nest of her home…. knowing that this was best long-term for the child.
Our “pickle” was slowly becoming…….unpickled!
So this must be why Our Heavenly Father shakes us up too!
We discussed how Long -term God knows what is best for each of us and that when we become too comfortable, this can create weak spiritual muscles.
Our good good father loves you So much my sister….so if He has shaken you up and out of your comfortable nest, it is so that your wings will start to flap and grow stronger and as a result you will grow closer to God as you soar higher with Joy in your heart.
What can you do to strengthen your spiritual muscles while you wait?
But those who (wait, hope, trust) in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings on eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:13
Sometimes an earthly example —such as that of a criminal before a judge— might help explain one of the most overwhelmingly, incredible, and mind-blowing spiritual truths. Imagine that you are about to go before a Great Judge. You have been apprehended, and you must give an account for any wrongs committed during your lifetime. In private, you meet with your attorney and you confess all that you have done. At the scheduled time, your attorney, who acts as your most important advocate, appears before the judge, and states your case: “Your Honor… yes, I agree, she is guilty as charged.” Your mouth drops open, and your eyes widen with fear. You stand shocked, feeling betrayed. “What?!! I thought that you were here to defend me?” You scream, turn red, and fall on the floor, “Why don’t you help me?!!” If the illustration stopped here, then we would all be without hope, but… What if we caught hold of the heavenly picture given to us in God’s Word? Now imagine that you are sitting with your advocate, Jesus, before the Great Judge, God, whose role is to make sure that Heaven remains holy and perfect with no sin, sickness, or sadness. “Your Honor… yes, I agree. If she came to our heavenly home, then her sin would ruin it. I concur with you that she deserves the death penalty, and that she should spend eternity in Hell. She is guilty as charged, and justice demands that she die as a consequence.”As this spiritual court holds greater authority than any earthly court, you crumble under the hopelessness of the crushing verdict. Plummeting to the ground, you sob, and cover your tear-stained face. But finally, when you manage to look up, you realize what you could have never expected. Pure, hot holiness flows from your advocate’s eyes, and blinds you with an indescribable love. He stands and declares boldly, “I have taken your death sentence for you. I love you, and I want you to spend eternity in Heaven with Me where there is no sin.” Then He asks, “Will you let Love stand in your place?” Overcome with joy and tears all at once, you cry, “Thank you… Oh, Jesus! Thank you so much! I will! I do! Yes! I believe You.” In an instant, you notice that the handcuffs and shackles of all your past wrong-doing falls from your arms and your legs. You are free! Jesus kneels to embrace you. He calls you a child of God, a family member, a friend. He lifts you up and renames you ‘princess.’ Now, you are a flawless, beautiful, and restored daughter of the King of Kings. Hand in hand, you and your heavenly advocate dance out of the courtroom as you hear the judge in the distance pronounce: “Not Guilty.”
The Garden of Paradise ~~Sometimes Love Means Losing Count~~ While no one would describe me as having a green thumb, I do know some gardening basics: Water the plants early in the morning before the hot sun comes out, Prune dead branches to let the sunshine in, and Pull a few weeds every morning so that your beautiful flowers are not overtaken. Gardening requires daily, steadfast attention, as is necessary for any relationship. In a similar way, God invites us to co-garden our hearts with Him personally, every day. Living in community might give us a glimpse into someone else’s garden. It can get complicated if we peek over the hedge and jump to judgments about what should be done about someone’s plant (or, a weed) that we notice. I carried a regret for years when I reacted too quickly to a situation where I did not have all of the facts. It all began when I overheard talk of a friend’s major life choice that I quickly labeled as a huge mistake. Instead of taking the time to call her, and to listen, my quick assumption added to her painful stress. It had been a tough time in her life, and she’d had to make monumental decisions. I lacked information, and did not understand her whys. The situation grew even worse when I left her a passionate voicemail pleading with her to change her mind. Instead of coming alongside her to understand, to hold her hand, to comfort her, or to assist her in any practical way, I stood at a distance and drew conclusions. Our friendship died. Weeks later, continuing to think about her, I decided to send a quick apology. I hoped that she would hear my perspective. But still, I had not heard hers. Mother Teresa wisely said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” For a couple of years, this corner of my garden lay barren, wrapped up with the weeds of my own self-righteousness, pride, and regret. This small area lay neglected because I did not invite Jesus into it during our gardening dates in the cool of each morning. It was only after much time had passed since my insensitive responses that I wrote a true letter of apology. With more life experience, I realized my wrong. I felt truly sorry, and told her so. This time I made no excuses. Then, I waited. And waited. And waited. For a reply. Two weeks seemed like an eternity. The day finally came that I opened up the mailbox and saw the pink envelope with her name in the return address. “I received your kind words, Amber. I just want you to know that I forgive you, and I love you. God knows everything about it, and He loves us both,” I read. Collapsing into a nearby chair, I soaked in the refreshing, life-giving words. Grateful tears began to flow down my cheeks as I thanked God for helping us… He enabled me to write a sincere apology, and then He helped my friend to gracefully forgive me. How can I describe the relief which I felt when I saw these generous words? Like a fresh rain in springtime, they watered the dry garden of my heart. These actions pulled up the weeds of regret leaving holes in the dirt that God could now cover with His liquid love. What could be a sweeter gift than a friend’s undeserved forgiveness? What is more beautiful than a freshly weeded and watered garden? The result encouraged me about the importance to never stop weeding, and watering, and nurturing the garden in my heart.
Not long after, a different situation arose that caused me to realize that another corner of my garden had a great need of tending. This time, though, it was me that needed to pull up the bitter root of unforgiveness. While in front of my computer early one morning, a former trusted friend messaged me. She requested a meeting, implying that she might want to reconnect again. I felt conflicted. Years before, this person and I had separated for good reason. She had betrayed me, and had left only heartache in her place. Now she wanted to meet at a local restaurant. How should I reply? I decided to accept. I missed her, and I truly wanted to hear what she had to say. I had a tender softness for her because I’d mentored her, and understood her difficult situation. However, I continued to wrestle with how this interaction might go. In my mind, I played out a conversation and determined what I thought should happen, adding, “God, she had better take responsibility for what she did! She needs to show how sorry she is!” I thought that certainly she might, at least, shed some tears. A portion of scripture pierced my heart as I drove down the highway the next day: “Love does not keep a record of wrongs.” Ouch! Immediately, I caught a glimpse of the list I had held in my mind of all the ways in which she had wronged me. Her selfish choices had been like a surprising, stinging downpour that caused mulch to scatter everywhere in a yard after a storm. I wanted her to feel my pain. I wanted her to grovel. I wanted her to show me that she “got it.” It now occurred to me that I was not yet ready to fully forgive. I realized I needed to pray and ask God to help me more in this process before our scheduled lunch. Shifting from my laser focus on her shortcomings, I redirected my thoughts to how I had mentored her and loved her like a daughter. That is why her betrayal hurt so much. I focused on all of her beautiful qualities, and on how helpful she had been in so many tough situations because of her calm demeanor. Then I imagined how hard it might be for her to meet with me. She must be so nervous. The story of the prodigal son became my source for instruction. The father had not waited for his son to fall on his knees in front of him and to show visible anguish. Instead, the father ran out to greet him, and even had a gift (a ring) ready for him. The father connected the dots that his son’s decision to walk toward home showed a change of heart. With this idea in mind, I picked out a special bracelet to give her, and I grew eager for our meeting. In the meantime, I prayed for her, and focused on the positive memories from our past times together. By the time the actual meeting took place, the need to go into detail about the reasons we’d parted ways seemed of little importance. Our conversation flowed, and we caught up on each other’s lives. By the end, she simply confided, “It’s been hard, but I’ve made a lot of changes over the past couple of years since I saw you last.” “I know,” I gently answered. We returned to our reminiscing, and shared pictures of our families. That day, a poisonous weed of unforgiveness that had been in my heart had been pulled up, roots and all. The newly tended soil gave opportunity for God to restore our relationship in the days to come. Months later, I received an unexpected card in the mail from her that contained the words I’d originally hoped to hear. Although her actions had already spoken them, she shared her precious thoughts in writing. She communicated how grateful she was to now be a part of my life again, and also, how forever sorry she is for her past mistakes. My eyes grew misty as I read this letter of acknowledgment —a letter so much sweeter now that I did not require it.
Who Will Fill the Hole? Poem by Amber O’Brien
I should have used my ‘big girl voice,’ I should have said, “Will you please fill the hole?” as the family Packed up their plastic toys and shovels. For I knew what they did not; for A hole left open can lead to heartache. Years before a woman on a nearby shore stumbled in the dark, And she fell into a neglected hole; She couldn’t climb out and she soon fell asleep. Early the next morning a sand-cleaning machine Pushed the sand over her and She. Was. Buried. Alive. The reporter urged the viewers, “to please fill in the holes,” After scooping sand, and sculpting castles. But, there are some gaps we cannot fill up, On. Our. Own. I thought of my own mistakes: As a mother. As a friend. As a sister, a daughter, a wife, Would my regrets ever end? So many pits, so many pangs of remorse. How many people have fallen into the holes that I’ve dug, With clenched fists of selfish pride and fear? Or, on the other hand, How many people have hurt me, and bore huge holes in my own heart? But I worsened my wounds with unforgiveness and Allowed the gaping holes to fester with self-pity. This huge hole left in the sand in front of me represented all my failures, and I sat anxiously in my beach chair pondering what to do. I didn’t have a shovel, Or the strength… for I now finally comprehended that, All these holes together formed a Grand Canyon-sized chasm that separated me from holy heaven. Who will fill the hole? Downhearted and distressed, I grievously gazed at the ginormous gulf, Paralyzed with despair. Who can fill the hole? Then a lifeguard, Wearing a blood-red tank top, With a white cross sealed over his chest, Climbed down from his high white stand, Kneeled in the sand, and With his open, bare hands, He gently, and carefully, pushed the sand from the rough edges, And He. Filled. The. Hole.
Ch. 3 Discussion questions for those who want to delve deeper:
Have you ever been to court before? Did your lawyer defend you? Did you plead guilty, or not guilty?
Read slowly I John 4:7-21. Where does love come from?
Why is Jesus the perfect mediator? Read 1 John 1:8-10 and 2:1-2. Why is being honest about ourselves to God necessary?
Why is it so hard to forgive others? Let us look to Jesus who prayed these words from the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).
Describe the process that you use to forgive. For example, the author sometimes finds it helpful to write a letter to someone who has hurt her, and then to rip it up. Next, she writes down ten good characteristics about the person in order to gain perspective. What helps you to root out unforgiveness?
The poem Who Will Fill the Holes? is a modern twist on Revelation 5:1-10 which says, “Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?” Why?
Read 1 Peter 4:8. What soothes the wounds that others cause? Is there someone who needs you to gently cover them with forgiveness? Or, do you need to forgive and show compassion to yourself?
Time for Dessert Close your eyes, and imagine Jesus earnestly praying for you: “Father forgive her, she knows not what she does.” Now picture those wounded hands embracing you tightly with a warm, long, and strong hug. And then… the Holy One takes off his pure white robe of righteousness, and wraps it around you. How do you respond to Him?
Ouch. To be human and in relationship means that others will disappoint us. Sometimes it means they will hurt our feelings or worse betray us.
What is your response when others hurt you? To respond in anger? to withdraw? to give the silent treatment?
While I wrote the theme poem for my book Love. Always. Wins., I pondered the time Jesus got down on his knees and carefully and lovingly washed the feet of Judas; the one who would soon betray him for 30 pieces of silver. He didn’t skip Judas, even though Jesus knew (because He is God, He Knew what was going to happen in the future) that Judas would later betray Him publicly with a kiss of death.
Surprisingly, Jesus didn’t skip Judas, but instead Jesus became like a servant and washed and dried the feet of His future enemy while he did the same for those that loved and adored Him. He treated them all the same and lovingly made sure they were prepared for the revealing at this last Passover supper when Jesus would confirm that He was going to be the eternal, perfect, sacrificial lamb.
How could Jesus do this?
Jesus knew that no person could prevent God’s perfect plan. He did not have to fear what Judas would do, for He knew that no person could ever prevent God’s great plan and will for Him. In fact Judas’ betrayal was part of the plan.
What was Jesus response to Judas? Love. His role was to Love…………. for God is Love.
Why did He do this?
Perhaps one part of why He did this was to model for us what we should do when others hurt us. Jesus knew that His followers would also have frienemies and He promised to pray for us. And He gave us this beautiful example of how to live free of bitterness and resentment. As disciples of Him, we are to imitate Jesus in every tough and messy situation. We can let go of our anger and focus on the truth that No person in your life or mine can prevent God’s wonderful, fruitful plan for us.
So what do we do ? We are not to “keep a record of wrongs” but to focus on the good of the person. My best piece of practical advice is to write down Ten good things about the person. Then, ask God for help you to forgive as generously and completely as you have been forgiven by God. Pray to God to bless the one who has hurt you. Then, you will have the sweet thrill of Victory…..not the bitter taste of resentment and revenge.
Years ago, I delivered a premature baby girl named Megan, who only lived 40 days in the NICU. I was so weak with grief that I didn’t have the energy to search my Bible for comforting and helpful verses.
But:) ………..I had a dear friend, who picked Bible verses and attached objects to these verses, and these fed me like precious manna from Heaven, as I would reach in the bag each day and and pull out a verse with an object attached.
After this season of grief, I have made my own “love kits” to help others who are weary with grief, recovering from an operation or facing cancer treatments.
I have found that writing out the scriptures and attaching the objects encourages me as much as the recipient. You can place these on index cards and attach the objects and place in a pretty bag. or perhaps place on sticks and put them in a flower pot. Pray for your friend and add your own favorite scriptures and ask for the Holy Spirits creativity as to what object to attach.
Love kit
I lift up my eyes to the mountain. Where does my help come from? My help come from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip-He who watches over you will not slumber; Indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Psalm 121-1. (wiggly eyes)
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7 (two pennies or yarn for hair)
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10. (glue sick)
For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, “Do not fear; Will Help You”. Isaiah 41:13. ( life-savor candy )
Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since your birth, and have carried since you were born. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4. ( gray yarn)
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7 (two pennies or yarn for hair)
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3 12-14 ( band aid)
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. John 3: 16-17 ( a candy mint or peppermint life-savor- you are worth a mint)
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8. ( a magnet- plastic letter magnet)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. Romans 8:28-29. ( rubberband- be flexible while you wait)
He will cover you with His feathers; Under His wings you will find refuge;His faithfulness is a shield and rampart. Because you have made the LORD your dwelling—My refuge, the Most High—No evil will befall you,No plague will approach your tent. For He will command His angels concerning youTo guard you in all your ways. Psalm 91:1 ( feather)
“It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.”
Ecclesiastes 7:2
Most people dread going to a funeral. Oh, and I so get it. We feel awkward and helpless and we might wonder “What should I say?” and of course we naturally don’t want to see our loved ones sorrowing. So many of us would rather not face a reminder that death exists and that our time on this earth is fleeting.
Yet, when we attend a viewing and/or funeral and embrace a loved one and say, “I am so sorry” we are bearing a part of their pain. Each person that attends gives comfort and make the load of grief a little lighter. Sacrificing your time and traveling is a way to show Love is a tangible way. One biblical definition of Love is to “Bear all things” and sharing in the sorrow of a close friend or relative is an honor and blessing.
But there is another reason why going to a funeral is so important:
Death IS our destiny.
A funeral is an opportunity to think about our own future funeral and destiny. Some questions to reflect on at a funeral include: Are you ready to face a holy God ? What type of legacy will you have left for your family? Are you building up God’s kingdom here on earth? What will you leave behind that will point generations behind you to Jesus?
Since Death is our destiny, funerals teach us so much more than any superficial party or feast ever could.
I recently attended a funeral of a soul sister whose beautiful, faithful life demonstrated the secret of a peaceful death.
Last month, I was in an airport dressing room trying on clothes, as I had some extra time before a flight, when I received a shocking text from my dear friend Heidi’s phone.
Her daughter had found her phone and wrote me, “I wanted to let you know that my mom passed away unexpectedly yesterday. She passed peacefully, but our family is very much still in shock and could use your prayers.“
My mind could not comprehend that my friend could be dead. She was not ill and just the week before was her birthday. Later, I found out that a blood clot to the heart had caused the sudden death of my friend.
After hearing from her daughter, I scrolled back to our last conversation: After I texted her “Happy Birthday!” and I encouraged her to “keep Looking to Jesus” she shared about some up- incoming trips with her family and husband. Heidi was a homebody and so I knew that while part of her was excited about the future trips, traveling brought her anxiety too. She chose to end her text with hope that God would help her.
Always Looking to Jesus! She affirmed.
She had added the word Always and an exclamation mark followed by a prayer emoji with hearts.
The prayer emoji was my first clue of how she was dealing with her anxiety and had found inner peace.
I sat in shock on the dressing room bench and tried to comprehend this news. Her precious four children and adoring husband all now grieving a sudden heart- wrenching loss. How? Why? No!
I responded to her daughter, “Oh Katie!!! I am just so so so sorry. Sweet Katie…our comfort is that Your Mom knew the Lord…she is safe in His arms.
Even though my heart hurt for her family, as I looked back at her loving, gentle way and her final texts to me on her birthday just a week before, I felt such peace and assurance that she was now:
Looking straight into the most beautiful face in the world: The adoring and adorable face of Jesus.
This belief was confirmed in a special way at Heidi’s funeral and reception.
During the funeral each of her children shared some memories of their mom. These memories were read by her brother. He spoke as the tears flowed down his cheeks and especially struggled as his read about a dream Heidi’s youngest daughter had many years before.
Allison (Heidi’s youngest daughter) shared that she dreamed of heaven and of a house made of clouds. On the front porch were some rocking chairs. After the dream and years later, she recognized two of the men by photos later to be her mom’s deceased father and stepfather. In this dream, that God had given her 10 years before, one of the chairs was empty. After her mom’s passing, she knew deep in her soul that the empty chair was now occupied by her mom.
But wait ….I need to share where Heidi was found dead by her husband.
He found her in a chair.
Not just any chair. A chair in a special prayer room where Heidi would sit and pray. During the reception I had the honor and blessing of sitting in her chair with her blanket over me. (for she was often cold)
She had carefully placed favorite bible verses all around the chair. She left behind proof that she valued and believed in God’s Word.
One of her last texts included: “I love sayings, scripture and words of wisdom all around”.
Was this how she “looked to Jesus”? Yes! I had found her secret to how to look to Jesus on this earth and to have eternal peace.
Her secret was her ‘secret prayer room’.
These are some of the scripture and inspirational quotes she put around her room:
I want to be found where she was found…for she was found surrounded with the life-giving words of the Holy Bible.
What a beautiful Way to leave this earth. Jesus came to walk her home from the chair where she would talk to Jesus and seek His face.
Now she is Always looking at the most beautiful face of Jesus.
Are you emotional and anxious about the approaching holidays? Perhaps this will be the first Thanksgiving without a loved one present? Or you have a family member who scrapes you like sandpaper and you dread a potential conflict?
First, I want to assure you Jesus was human too and understands all the bundle of emotions that we deal with. Most of all, He showed us what to do when faced with large emotions. He came to earth to model what to do when emotions rise and we feel our eyes about to pour up and out with tears or our mouths speak words we can’t take back.
And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”
Matthew 26:39
As children we learn 4 very important words to help us to remember what to do if our clothes were to catch on fire.
“Stop, drop and roll ”.
Fire is something that needs to be dealt with right away. Thus, instead of running around or ignoring that one is on fire, we learn that the best course of action is to stop and drop and smother the fire by rolling on the ground.
I have been guilty of stuffing down my emotions until I explode like popping coals on some unsuspecting family member. At first, I imagine I am being kind by letting things slide and not being honest with myself and my family about things that bother me. However, letting our emotions build inside and then like a volcano erupt out searing words of fiery ash is not fair and certainly not kind. What should we do to relieve the pressure of built-up irritations, hurts and resentment?
Jesus modeled this for us in the garden of Gethsemane. He went farther away from his disciples and then dropped to the ground and lay prostrate before His father in prayer. He drew closer to his Father and honestly poured out all that was on his heart. Then He prayed the perfect prayer of a surrendered life, “Not as I will, but as you will.” After this agonizing time of intense prayer, Jesus was strengthened and was able to complete his mission in a calm and controlled manner.
Have you ever heard of the term “Cozy corner?” A Cozy corner is a quiet place away from the drama of others, where we can pull away and breathe deep and pray for help, strength, patience and love.
Where is your cozy corner? Or better yet, Who is your cozy corner?
You are a hiding place. You protect me from trouble; you surround me with songs of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my eye on you. (Psalm 32:7-8)
Having strong emotions is not wrong; emotions are not negative but can inform and teach us. However, we need the Holy spirit to help us to find healthy ways to express and release our emotions so they don’t build up and we explode or we push them so far down we become stuck.
If the emotions start to rise within in, step away from your family and spend a little time asking God for perspective and for healthy ways to express yourself. “Help, Lord” …”give me Love for so and so” , or “I am so sad with out my family member here…what can we do to honor them together?” “
So whether you are in the desert of grief over the loss of a loved one, in the storms of messy relationships or perhaps have heart-burn from making a poor choice; come away into Jesus, who promises to be our cool, refreshing hiding place.
Psalm 51:7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
After ten long months of trying, Brian (our adult son with Down syndrome) has been consistently wearing his CPAP machine at night. At first we were rewarding him with little bags of peanut M&Ms, but as his times increased he was earning meals out at restaurants. When his doctor pointed out that these rewards were not helping him lose weight, we switched to cool gadgets as prizes.
Today, his black light pen arrived. Amazon said it was good for finding scorpions and pet stains. We don’t have scorpions and I didn’t really want to find pet stains, so I figured it would be fun just to shine it in a dark room and see what would glow. We went into the windowless powder room and closed the door.
Now I have never claimed to be a good housekeeper, but we do try to keep the powder room “guest-ready” at all times. To my eyes, it was not visibly dirty. Oh friends, the black light revealed the truth. I don’t want to gross you out, but suffice it to say, the purple glow lit up a splatter pattern all over the wall, floor, and toilet that had me running for the bleach spray. (Brian is absolutely delighted with this prize.)
I am the powder room. I tidy myself up and present a “nice Christian lady” image to the people who are “guests” in my life. I’ve gotten pretty good at appearing clean and shiny to the world. But here’s the thing: God sees the real me and his Word shines on my heart and reveals the truth. I’ve got sin splattered everywhere.
It turns out I’m not the only one who’s a mess. Whole chapters of Leviticus deal with God’s regulations for cleansing rituals. The scriptures make it pretty clear that we are all in desperate need of purification and atonement. In Psalm 51, David recognized his need for God to wash away the splatter made by his sin with Bathsheba.
1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
Leviticus 16 explains how every year on the Day of Atonement the High Priest had to make blood sacrifices of goats and calves for the sins of the people. The problem with all those rituals is that the cleansing was temporary and needed to be repeated. The people would always commit new sins, and the animal blood did not have the power of eternal redemption.
However, the writer of Hebrews tells us in chapter 9 that without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin. The solution to the problem, of course, is Jesus. I can’t read Hebrews 9 without also hearing the voice of John the Baptist proclaim “Behold the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world!”
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11 But when Christ came as high priest … 12 He did not enter by means of the blood of goats and calves; but he entered the Most Holy Place once for all by his own blood, thus obtaining eternal redemption.
This old hymn by Robert Lowry preaches gospel truth:
1 What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Refrain:
O precious is the flow
that makes me white as snow;
no other fount I know;
nothing but the blood of Jesus.
2 For my pardon this I see:
nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my cleansing this my plea:
nothing but the blood of Jesus. [Refrain]
3 Nothing can for sin atone:
nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Naught of good that I have done:
nothing but the blood of Jesus. [Refrain]
4 This is all my hope and peace:
nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my righteousness:
nothing but the blood of Jesus. [Refrain]
Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was enough. His blood has the power to cleanse the splatter of all of my sins – past, present, and future. I love the lyrics to this hymn by Elvina Hall: Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow.
I’m ashamed to say that my powder room will be dirty again. Now I can use Brian’s blacklight to find what needs to be thoroughly cleaned. And although God is transforming me to be more like His Son through the process of sanctification, I know that I still sin daily. I need to read God’s Word, listen to the Holy Spirit, and pray for God to convict me of sin. As He illuminates it, I will pray and repent, confident in the wonder-working power of the blood of the Lamb to wash it away.
Dear Lord, my sin is ever before you. There is no hiding from the light of your Word. You have searched me and have known me. I repent and receive forgiveness through Your Son Jesus. Create in me a clean heart. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Amen.
Look at this sweet picture! I bought it for two dollars, as I gave one dollar to a 6 year old budding artist and one to her 3 year old sister who were selling their creations on the front steps of their beach home. “Oh I love rainbows!” I told them when I spotted this one.
“Rain and sun are both needed for a rainbow” I exclaimed as I excitedly confirmed to the young artist how scientifically accurate her masterpiece that includes piercing sharp raindrops falling while the smiling sun shines above the rainbow.
Also, most encouraging to me was how God orchestrated the timing and positioning so that I would walk my bicycle past their porch. (rather than ride by on the street)
Just a few moments before, as I was about to go back onto a bike path, a couple walked right in front of me without noticing or caring. I must admit that inside my head some complaining occurred...wow….they are not paying attention and and blocking my way….How Rude!”
I decided to take a detour and to walk the bike on a sidewalk for a bit until the next intersection and that is when I noticed two young girls selling their wares. “Do you have any money?” the older girl bluntly asked causing her mom and I to laugh. I assured her that I did, as I had a few dollar bills ready in my pocket after visiting a local bakery. I oohhhed and ahhhed over the pictures and did my best to encourage the sisters and their proud momma.
Voila, a God-incidence in the making because I was nudged onto a different path.
If not for those two people walking in front of me and pushing me to walk my bike further, I would have missed this God-ordained interaction. When they thanked me for the payment, I reminded them of who the money was really from, stating “my money is God’s money, so this is from God”.
As I put the drawing in my basket, I rode off saying, “God loves you all so much”.
So what is the rain in your life my friend? Most likely yours is a bigger storm than rude people. There are storms happening all over. I have people in my life who are grieving the sudden death of a loved one and are walking around with wounded souls and torn hearts. I know of recent medical diagnoses that seem hopeless from the worlds perspective. Perhaps you have loved ones who are not speaking and the division is affecting the entire family. I so wish I could make everything all better for you, my sister. Just like you, I wish that I could heal all grieving hearts, bodies and relationships.
But while I can’t take away the rain and for some reason God hasn’t, ( yet…for we know that All wounds will be healed in Heaven) I did want to remind you of an important Truth:
God works All things out for good. All things. Not just some things or some of the time. All. things. All. of. the. time.
For we know that in All things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
Our God is like a masterful conductor who is weaving all the instrument notes together to create a beautiful symphony. Like using rude people to get us where we need to be. Sometimes He uses wounded hearts and broken bodies to humble us and lead us closer to Him. I look back over the rainy times in my life, and those were when I clung to Jesus harder and His word spoke to me most vividly. Looking back, these gloomy, stormy times helped me to be more sensitive to others, deepened my relationship with Jesus and drew me closer to some God-appointed people on my un-planned rainy path.
I have found that journaling is such a great way to process and release the many emotions and questions that occur when we are pushed off our paths. So I encourage you to find a notebook and let the cleansing tears fall as you write down your losses and your future fears. Let your anger out as you write out your hurt and disappointment. (stuffing emotions down inside can cause anger, resentment and depression) So let. it. all. out. my friend.
After I let out all my thoughts and emotions through journaling, then I wait and listen and look in the Bible for answers. I also always end my time filling up with refreshing truth and thanksgiving. I write out 3 good things (gratitudes) that God has done or given me and three characteristics of God. Such as: God is good, God is Love, and God is in control.
God is still on His throne my friend. He is still working All things out for good for you and your family and most of all His Kingdom. He is with you in the storm, shining through your tears.
“I wrote a poem about rainbows”, I told the mom and girls. “When you see a rainbow it is a kiss from God reminding you that He is with you”
He is with you my friend and He promises that He is going to use All things in your life for good. (He’s got the long game ) God promises to turn this detour into good. Trust in the Rainbow maker.
(the son of our dear former neighbors completed suicide and I was given the honor of speaking at his celebration of life. Oh how I love Steve who is now “healed in heaven”, his mom and dad, brother and sister so much. As I wrote and painfully delivered these words my heart was feeling the great heartache of all involved. yet………
But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. Thessalonians 4:13-14
I feel so connected to the Narup family and to Steve for our families have shared so many highs and lows together. For over 12 years the Narups lived next door to my young family in Country walk community and we literally shared a backyard. A rainbow playground set became the kids meeting place as well as the court behind our homes. My three children and Stef. Steve and Jon and the other neighborhood children built forts on that Rainbow jungle gym. They played Red Rover, kick the can, dodge ball and so many fun outside games. The hill connecting the Narup home and our OBrien home became the perfect sledding area as the children held onto each other and laughed and shouted as they raced down the hill together. They laughed and played and sometimes squabbled. Most times, they were more like siblings than neighbors. Since my children were younger and needed more supervision, I was often outside and sometimes would guide them with conflict resolution. OK so What happened ? so What should you have done? What should you do now? You could say you’re sorry and that you’ll never do that again….ok now its your turn ….you can Say I forgive you and both of you hug or shake hands ….now go on and play and never bring up what happened again. The children would say they were sorry and forgive so quickly and completely and then proceed to play together as if the offence never happened……you know I think that might be one of the reasons why it says in the Bible that we must be like little children to enter the Kingdom of God.
Steve had such a kind heart and definitely took on a big brother role with the younger children. During my children’s birthday parties, sometimes he would help led a game station, I watched as Steve patiently helped and encouraged the younger children and then proudly give then a prize. Later, I watched that same kind and gentle heart grow even larger as he so enjoyed being a dad to his daughter Madison. He was the middle child who so adored His older beautiful and vivacious sister Stef and so cherished his younger brother Jon who is so bright and creative. He was so loved and cared for by his mom and dad who faithfully supported him as he grew and gained confidence socially and in his career. I could tell Steve was both an observer and a deep thinker. Three years ago he sent me one of the kindest birthday messages I have ever received. In it, he thanked me for my role in his life and his family and then he told me to “stay on the path”. I am still so touched every time I think about it: for he reached out to me with gratitude and encouraged me to stay on the narrow path…even though he himself was struggling and searching for his own path.
On Easter Day, he used up some of his last bit of energy to get to church and say He was sorry for his sins and receive the cleansing forgiveness of the sacrament of baptism. He publicly chose to be a follower of Jesus Christ who is the Way, the truth and the Life. He chose the path that leads to everlasting life.
I was recently reminded of the story of the two men who were crucified on either side of Jesus.
One of the men was an observer and a deep thinker and recognized Who Jesus was and despite being in great pain turned to Jesus. He said, “remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
So this late convert who made the good choice…who chose to turn to Jesus while suffering, still physically died that bittersweet day.
He was not immediately rescued, and angels didn’t come to remove him from the cross that he bore.
But we know from God’s word that the man was spiritually reborn the moment that he turned to Jesus. He was completely forgiven, his wounds are now healed in heaven and he is suffering no longer.
And we trust that Steve is completely forgiven, Steve’s wounds are Healed in heaven and Steve is suffering no longer.
For God so loved Steve that He gave His only begotten Son Jesus, that if Steve believes in Him, He should Not perish but have everlasting life.
(for those of you who are hurting now with a broken heart and feeling left behind and perhaps angry or confused by it all ….. I believe Steve would say to you, “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Will you please forgive me? “
And for those of you who, like me, feel a heavy weight of guilt and wish that you had done more for Steve or tried harder or perhaps you left some words unsaid, I believe Steve would say to you and me , “I forgive you, I always knew that you loved me. I love you and I am praying for you. I am praying that you will use every bit of energy that you have to find the path. For only God’s love can heal a broken heart.
And for those that have already found the One who is the Way and the truth and the Life …I believe Steve is now praying and patiently encouraging us as he echos out what all the angels and saints around God’s throne are saying as they are cheering us on: keep going forward, look upward ….. .and Stay on the path!!!!!! )
Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.Proverbs 13:11 (ESV)
First, excitement.
At the base of the mountain, staring upward at the 600 concrete steps, the task of climbing seemed like a fun adventure in the cool of the morning.
However, the steep incline soon challenged my husband and I, and our steps slowed after 100 as our hearts and breathing increased. Oh my! I thought, 500 steps still to go.
Little platforms lined the steps and so we stopped for a break, eating juicy, purple grapes while taking in the increasing view. How amazing that after a short rest, we had a burst of energy to go up 100 more steps.
So, step by step, little by little, we slowly climbed up the mountain. Taking breaks. Replenishing our bodies. Enjoying each small goal along the way. The renewed energy after a time of rest always surprised and encouraged me.
Finally, we reached the summit and were rewarded with spectacular 360-degree views. The joy of accomplishment resulted in big smiles and raised arms for the breathtaking photos. The victory of reaching our goal was worth every step as we bounded down the mountain with great ease.
This recent hiking trip with my husband and business partner reminded me of how in a similar way we have through the decades built up our family and business. We started with excitement, but the demands of raising children and growing a thriving business were challenging. I confess that there were times I wanted to quit or run away to an island in the early stages of both callings.
But then we learned to instead of quitting, to bit by bit, step by step, do a little each day. A wise woman once said to me, “Our lives are an accumulation of all the little choices we make along the way”.
Some good choices included taking intentional breaks along the way. Scheduled date nights on the calendar. Sunday family worship. Business lunches and longer retreats to rest, replenish, and regroup.
When we stop to rest, this is often when a creative idea or solution results.
So, what is your summit my sweet sister?
Spiritual? Physical? Financial? Relational?
Write down your goal and then start breaking it “bit by bit” into smaller goals.
For example: If your goal is to increase your prayer life but you are in a very busy season of your life, instead of praying for 10 people when you wake up, perhaps make a commitment throughout the day to pray for whoever God brings in your path or to your mind. Soon, these short “in the moment” prayers will add up. Prayer by prayer, action by action, you will build up spiritual treasure.
So don’t quit, but bit by bit keep walking toward your summit. It will be worth the climb.
Lord, thank you for promising to be with me and to help me. Please open only doors that would be good long term and please close any doors that are not in your perfect will. Please give me wisdom on the best way to care for my body, mind, and soul and show me how to take healthy breaks and enjoy the people and the scenery you have laid in my path.
In Jesus’ Name, amen
For Deeper Study
Matthew 6:19-20: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” (NIV)
What can you do for just 10 minutes today to help you to walk toward a little goal? What can you do for 10 seconds a day multiple times throughout your day?
I’d love to hear from you! Share your goals and thoughts in the comments.
